Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few...

FML for mobile
Free

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 576

You deserved it 3 741

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 16:32 - Argentina

Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 464

You deserved it 3 911

By D: - 06/10/2013 17:13 - France - Paris

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 421

You deserved it 3 901

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 375

You deserved it 5 214

By Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 002

You deserved it 3 010

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 417

You deserved it 19 722

By bTOhno - 13/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 068

You deserved it 4 733

By mike oxsmall - 16/06/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 057

You deserved it 6 560

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 229

You deserved it 9 944

By noooo - 08/08/2011 07:10 - United States

Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 038

You deserved it 2 712

Creeped out

By HadToApologize - 03/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 392

You deserved it 23 102

DahkLohd 4

Wednesday 26 January 2011 22:01

Creepy.

MyNameIsBruce 0

Thursday 27 January 2011 0:20

Shut up. You tried to do it to Harry a few years back.

Comments

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Wednesday 26 January 2011 22:19

I'm not sure why you are referring to your mom as your roommate...

oliver86 8

Wednesday 26 January 2011 22:30

fail at humor

MrNiceGuy518 3

Thursday 27 January 2011 0:56

I don't get it.

NancyDeebensDPDS 0

Thursday 27 January 2011 1:07

ugh! you guys don't understand sir robin!!! shame on you!

MissFukMyLuck 0

Thursday 27 January 2011 6:04

I say epic win. *thumbs up*

NisterDude499 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 22:22

YDI for looking easy to kill in your sleep....

OFO_fml 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 22:27

that sounds well, creepy.

Lizza330 28

Wednesday 26 January 2011 22:27

That kind of sounds like the roommate movie.

CutiePie_101 7

Thursday 27 January 2011 2:37

That's what I was thinking.

talktomandybaby 8

Thursday 27 January 2011 3:26

me too

TheKing82 0

Friday 28 January 2011 1:05

"Based on a true story"

RedJag 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 22:27

I say beat her to the punch......and soon.

lil_lala209 5

Wednesday 26 January 2011 22:27

time to move out now!

Mjcino 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 22:31

Hot!

saleha97 4

Wednesday 26 January 2011 22:38

haha, #15

UpsidedownKayak 9

Wednesday 26 January 2011 22:42

Go to sleep in medieval armor, you won't be so easy to kill in your sleep then. Of course, you will probably have to sleep standing up or you will have a hard time getting up in time for classes.

kingtz 6

Wednesday 26 January 2011 22:46

That was hot! I wish I had a female roommate like that when I was in college...

nerdsgetmehot 22

Wednesday 26 January 2011 22:51

#27 I'm pretty sure OP didn't think it was hot. Assuming that you're a straight male, imagine if you had a guy roommate who did that...

ramirezlmt 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 22:59

well #30 that's why I have a sword by my bed, no extra parts allowed lol you just wish a nerd with thick rimmed glasses would wake you up staring at you naked.(read her name) I'll see you tonight babe

nerdsgetmehot 22

Wednesday 26 January 2011 23:09

#36 I already have a nerd.

ekky 3

Thursday 27 January 2011 5:34

yuck hate to be him

nerdsgetmehot 22

Thursday 27 January 2011 17:39

What the hell! Who is going around and making sure that I think that I'm ugly? Honestly I DO think that I'm ugly...I never thought that I said I was attractive in any way. Bugger off and go bother someone else.