Intimacy: Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding....

By Anonymous - 30/03/2011 18:26 - Canada

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 578

You deserved it 8 314

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Same thing different taste

By Indianagirl94 - 29/10/2012 22:22 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 710

You deserved it 3 387

By possiblyoverweight - 08/11/2011 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 903

You deserved it 4 392

Bittie

By Anonymous - 18/09/2020 14:02 - Hungary - Sopron

Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 814

You deserved it 212

By Nasty - 25/04/2016 16:59 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 985

You deserved it 1 371

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 385

By Anonymous - 20/10/2012 08:42 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 984

You deserved it 3 355

Mommy milkers

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 05:17 - Malaysia

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 146

You deserved it 4 262

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 403

You deserved it 6 565

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 16:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 733

You deserved it 37 375

By notyourmummy - 12/11/2015 09:09 - United Kingdom - Ryde

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 026

You deserved it 3 406

VVeetard 8

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:15

milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...

victoriaax3 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:15

Atleast it wasn't a hobo .

Comments

TinyDude 10

Thursday 31 March 2011 1:47

Hes climbing through ur windows. But in this case hide ur boobies.

Tempsey 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 5:23

He's climbin' in yo' windows, drinkin' yo' breastmilk up! Tryin' to suck em' so y'all need to hide your ****, hide your boobs, hide your ****, hide your boobs, and hide your knocka's 'cause dey be suckin' on all dem nipples up in here!

rowanzora 3

Thursday 31 March 2011 8:40

I giggled. ^^

iizcalebhearmero 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 1:47

that is rape.

Mubus 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 6:56

112- biggest moron on fml

Baby2000 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 9:08

lol

dum_dum1 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 1:47

can I get in on the love? I wanna feel needed. :(

lanabanana81 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 1:49

breast milk taste horrible! bet he won't do it again. weirdo…

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Thursday 31 March 2011 4:52

my thought exactly ^

FlonkertonChamp 6

Thursday 31 March 2011 6:41

breast milk tastes horrible? millions of babies would disagree with you...

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 31 March 2011 15:29

Babies don't really have a choice. Breast milk does taste nasty. But it's one of those things that tastes nasty cause you're not use to it. Like people who drink goat or camel mile think cow milk tastes nasty.