Love: Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having...

By DravensMommy - 06/08/2009 19:22 - United States

Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having a dream where he was fighting somebody and wound up punching me in the face in his sleep. I had a very important job interview this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 552

You deserved it 3 013

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 18:11 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 406

You deserved it 5 960

Explain this

By Jenny - 16/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 89

Nightmare mode

By oliver - 27/01/2016 12:02 - United States

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 523

You deserved it 2 269

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 974

You deserved it 293

Night terrors

By Tanisha Skye Regeling - 11/06/2020 23:02

Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 180

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 974

You deserved it 12 166

By nosleep - 05/02/2011 00:05 - Australia

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 247

You deserved it 6 975

Nice Dream

By Better seamstress than mistress - 12/05/2021 19:59

Today, I dreamt that the fabric and pattern I was working on were sliding off the table so I quickly reached to grab it, effectively driving my fingers into my husband's eyes. Fuck his life too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 112

By anonymous - 27/02/2010 16:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 576

You deserved it 3 112

Real dream

By kaley - 14/12/2019 03:00

Today, I woke up to find that I had given myself a haircut in my sleep. I have a presentation today and a job interview tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 750

You deserved it 358

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:21

Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up" came on before I logged onto the website and read this. Oh, the irony.

Flip3289 9

Thursday 6 August 2009 23:02

That sucks tape his arms down ;)

Comments

frannytrois64 0

Friday 7 August 2009 3:06

Yeah that's some dream. Sock him in the face a couple of times and break a couple 'o teeth if you attend a wedding or something. Make him show up like a beaten cartoon.

ukiekid619 0

Friday 7 August 2009 3:10

She is actually lucky. If she says that she gets hit by her husband, the interviewer will take pity and give her the job :)

inspireme48 0

Friday 7 August 2009 4:09

you should have a "dream" that you were fighting and "accidently" kicked him in the balls and cant have kids.. hes an asshole. dump him.. divorce him

hannahMlover_not 0

Friday 7 August 2009 4:19

he was dreaming it wasn't his fault douchebag

saa994 0

Friday 7 August 2009 5:24

he did it in his sleep. it was an ACCIDENT. that's the stupidest reason to get a divorce.

pppokeyface 0

Friday 7 August 2009 4:13

Couldn't you just put makeup on it? It would still hurt tho..... LOL

IGoRawrrx3 0

Friday 7 August 2009 4:16

Wow..

renegade_angel08 0

Friday 7 August 2009 4:35

Lol my husband does this. He's a former cage fighter an would dream about his fights. He used to kick the hell outta me. FYL i feel your pain.

iFruit 0

Friday 7 August 2009 4:59

Make-up does wonders ;)

djb23 0

Friday 7 August 2009 5:15

Are you sure you didn't walk into a door knob instead? ;)

cassie0383 0

Friday 7 August 2009 5:27

for the person who commented (#67) by saying "my husband is a former cage fighter and he used to kick the hell out of me" Yeah umm you need some serious help there friend, are you too stupid not to know that is called abuse. what the **** is wrong with you? and to make a laughing matter about it is retarded. For real go to a ******* councilor or something and get some help about that, that is sooo wrong and many, many, MANY levels.

Ysz131 0

Friday 7 August 2009 6:58

But he would do that while he was dreaming. It wasn't his fault. Not like he was doing that on purpose. It can't really be abuse when the person is not doing it consciously... Maybe YOU are too stupid to read the entire thing, when it OBVIOUSLY says he was kicking her while he was dreaming about his fights. Seriously...