Intimacy: Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch....

By IsThisRealLife - 01/02/2016 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 912

You deserved it 5 805

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Same thing different taste

Stained

By maddie94 - 27/04/2009 09:14 - Australia

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 404

You deserved it 54 566

Pissed

By Matt - 13/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 530

By needanewride - 16/11/2012 02:40 - United States - Newton Center

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 299

You deserved it 3 316

By XavierLing - 23/07/2019 06:00

Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 780

Perv!

By Thithien1 - 01/04/2009 06:07 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 909

You deserved it 12 672

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 312

You deserved it 21 673

What even is that?

By git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 163

When you gotta go, you gotta go

By Amanda Howard - 15/03/2020 09:00

Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 522

WTF?

By Shane - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 237

You deserved it 32 636

By Anonymous - 04/09/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 852

You deserved it 16 270

JusstJef 16

Monday 1 February 2016 23:13

Please don't elaborate on the rash. We don't need to know.

Coffee5555 14

Monday 1 February 2016 23:16

says the one with a pic like that....

Comments

Bekll 31

Tuesday 2 February 2016 8:08

It is to some people. My roommate says the same thing.

courtney_leath 14

Tuesday 2 February 2016 8:12

Itch isn't a verb. Scratch is though.

914smv 18

Tuesday 2 February 2016 8:40

Deff check that out OP. It could spread to other areas.

vikky538 28

Tuesday 2 February 2016 14:11

Ouch..

neuronerd 28

Tuesday 2 February 2016 16:27

I hope you were on your way to the doctor.

Dynamite73 25

Tuesday 2 February 2016 19:04

Zika!

EarlFug 19

Wednesday 3 February 2016 1:51

It's public transport, not pubic.

LoLoLibra1 14

Wednesday 3 February 2016 4:53

Should've gotten up and did a little dance whilst moving your legs strategically as to scratch that itch!! Then someone could've filmed you and you could've been the star of the next viral online video - going too far...? Yeah, probably...that sucks OP and I'm sure it was VERY embarrassing as well!! Hopefully you don't take this same train all the time and there will be a different set of people on next time you go...? I don't remember your post completely so I don't know if you travel for work on a daily basis or not...hang in there!! People are so wrapped up in their own crap these days that nobody will remember by tomorrow...hopefully anyway, right?? Walk proud & shake it off!! ; )

dragoongirl90 34

Friday 5 February 2016 9:35

How inappropriate of you. Today's uncouth populace thinks it's okay to do things like scratch their privates in public and then get all pissy when they get in trouble for it.