Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

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By Funnymann - 22/01/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 422

You deserved it 3 903

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/10/2016 13:17 - United Kingdom - Maidstone

Today, I woke up to find my face covered in scratches, some of them bleeding. I was rather puzzled, as I don't have a cat. Then I realised that the feathers in my pillow had stuck out and scratched my face. I was attacked by my own pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 355

You deserved it 1 146

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 046

You deserved it 5 238

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up with a carpet burn. From sleeping. Alone. In my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 167

By argh - 20/03/2012 08:16 - United States - Houston

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 109

You deserved it 33 485

By permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 954

You deserved it 263

By Girl-of-very-little-brain - 29/12/2011 12:01 - Canada

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 239

You deserved it 4 985

By Anonymous - 13/05/2009 20:15 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 731

You deserved it 19 960

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By Bonk - 04/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 193

By HomeAlone - 24/04/2016 04:45 - United States

Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 881

You deserved it 21 312

By Hayleey_079 - 18/02/2010 14:22 - United Kingdom

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 043

You deserved it 3 769

luvuall 0

Friday 22 January 2010 23:15

It was Jigglypuff

susieKiute 0

Friday 22 January 2010 23:09

paranormal activity?

Comments

jimmyjim13 5

Monday 26 September 2011 0:03

Jiggly puff strikes again

mariahzzzbaby 2

Sunday 2 October 2011 20:06

ya wow I would tottally move out

Kleric 0

Monday 21 November 2011 13:37

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife

sorrowevicteon 9

Monday 2 January 2012 5:40

That's f***ed up.

Nokken13 0

Friday 17 February 2012 4:20

not anymore

Lulicah 3

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:24

Or do you...*insert Twilight Zone theme here*

cierraashlee 5

Wednesday 18 April 2012 23:00

You must have a sleeping disorder.

courtneyschrader 0

Friday 18 May 2012 0:32

That's scary. Lol

mustasho 0

Saturday 2 June 2012 19:41

Thats halarius xD

shamrocksread 2

Tuesday 26 June 2012 0:13

U probably did it to yourself and cant remember. Or u have some weird sleeping habits o_O

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The Top

Today, after spending 6 months and $15,000 on lawyer fees at my 13 year-old son's request, his abusive, alcoholic father no longer has any legal right to see him. How did my son repay me? He ran away to live with his father the very first time I told him he couldn't have friends sleep over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 251

You deserved it 7 821

Today, the guy I like took 15 hours to respond to my text. When I asked him why he took so long to respond, he said, “Chill, I’m not your boyfriend or anything, why are you asking me questions like that?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 794

The Top

Today, my fiancé's mother came up to me and told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history and condition. I have no idea what she's talking about, and she refuses to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 290

You deserved it 2 793

Today, the amount of spiders in my house has gotten so bad that it's become routine to shake out any blankets or towels before using them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 276

You deserved it 3 647

Today, the clock in the study lounge was off, so I was half-an-hour late to class. I was too embarrassed to walk in late, so I sat for the next half-hour with my ear against the door trying to hear the lecture. People stopped to ask if there was something wrong with me. Yeah, probably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 304

You deserved it 11 964

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as "The Cheese Stick Incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 376

You deserved it 4 949

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 433

Today, I spend two hours inside a bar talking about how I never worry about my boyfriend cheating on me when he travels for work. Everyone told me I was lucky to have such a great relationship. When we all decided to go out on the patio for a smoke, we saw him making out with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 933

You deserved it 10 530

Same thing different taste

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