Health: Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm... - FML

By dusk - 05/01/2012 08:09 - United States

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 035

You deserved it 4 237

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By ShellShocked - 30/03/2013 04:06 - United States

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 831

You deserved it 3 067

Juicy

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 18:00

Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 136

By Dammit - 07/07/2012 04:45 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 545

You deserved it 5 870

By aelia_oups - 31/12/2012 22:09 - France - Taverny

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 334

You deserved it 7 539

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 965

You deserved it 3 987

Big tongue logging on

By Anonymous - 09/09/2020 23:01 - United States - Norwich

Today, I spent seven dollars to find out I’m allergic to kiwi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 183

By Anonymous - 22/04/2013 18:42 - United States - Lebanon

Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 047

You deserved it 4 192

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 12/03/2021 23:01

Today, I learned the hard way that I'm allergic to a particular brand of tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 89

By Anonymous - 25/02/2013 05:44 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 550

You deserved it 3 747

By djshahso - 26/02/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 669

You deserved it 46 988

Next

Top comments

kidwiththeface42 7

Thursday 5 January 2012 12:07

Too bad you don't live under the sea. I'm sure there's a real estate market for bachelor sponges.

UrLyfSuxx 0

Thursday 5 January 2012 12:05

Pineapple stand :)

Comments

oXali 0

Thursday 5 January 2012 15:31

You could probably make money of selling some hahaha.

MyPerspective 4

Thursday 5 January 2012 15:33

That isn't a FML! You could sell them!! It's a blessing in disguised!

perdix 29

Thursday 5 January 2012 15:36

Do you like piña coladas? . . . no, I'm allergic.

StaigeJ 0

Thursday 5 January 2012 15:37

I'll take em

bluelagoon24 19

Thursday 5 January 2012 15:40

Throw a tropical themed party and just decorate your house with the pineapples, give them as gifts etc... Damn I feel like a pineapple now!

juststfu12 0

Thursday 5 January 2012 15:40

Haha so am I. Just donate them or something.

Deemee 3

Thursday 5 January 2012 15:42

Pineapples??? Who wins a lifetime supply of pineapples??

DalPozzo13 10

Thursday 5 January 2012 15:44

Sell them

Dante17 6

Thursday 5 January 2012 15:56

Make money selling them. And if you get fired of your job or something that has to do with money gets in the middle, you know you'd have the money of the sold pineapples :)

HiddenMonkey 8

Thursday 5 January 2012 15:56

Make pineapple kool-aid. And before you say it doesn't exist look it up. Its real.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, my husband has been out partying all night. While my in-laws didn't ask him a single question, earlier I received more than six calls from them about when I'll be home to cook and clean. Where was I? In the office for the first time after working from home for past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 111

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 132

The Top

Savour the flavor of the day, but be careful out there!

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 194

Today, I've been one year sober. My health has improved a lot, unlike my social life, which has died a horrible, lonely death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 590

You deserved it 4 696

Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 619

You deserved it 4 745

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 52 568

You deserved it 5 762

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 769

You deserved it 7 551

Today, I found my brother wearing nothing but underwear. That would have been okay if it weren't my lingerie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 773

You deserved it 3 164