Money: Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I... - FML

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By anonymous - 17/05/2011 17:34 - United States

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 815

You deserved it 28 404

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Same thing different taste

So close

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 06:00

Today, not only did my ex-wife take everything in our divorce, my most recent lottery ticket was off by only one number, I would have won millions and she wouldn’t have been entitled to a penny. Oh well, back to sleeping in my caravan, which is all I have left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 151

By LD619 - 16/12/2010 05:51 - United States

Today, I gave my ex-girlfriend two concert tickets to show her I still care about her and want to win her back. She sold them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 594

You deserved it 44 623

Chill, lady

By kerensa - 15/07/2012 05:51 - Australia - Mornington

Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 646

You deserved it 2 252

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 09:07 - Canada

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 387

You deserved it 6 090

Fate

By D-Man - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a coworker. I got her the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 620

You deserved it 4 215

By an unlucky man - 05/08/2016 09:37 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 023

You deserved it 3 108

By notsolucky - 28/08/2013 21:47 - United States - Stamford

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 229

You deserved it 3 482

By whereismyring - 28/03/2016 00:47 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex-boyfriend announced he was engaged. We broke up last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 654

You deserved it 1 722

A Dog's Love = Priceless

By Sudokori - 29/08/2017 20:00

Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 389

You deserved it 667

By damn it rose - 31/05/2014 13:40 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 429

You deserved it 8 132

Next

Top comments

SeasonedLemur 5

Wednesday 18 May 2011 0:15

Shiiiiiit! ****! that's literally THE worst fml I've ever read! if this fmls genuine I'm really really sorry for you mate! If I was in your shoes I'd probably shoot myself! But don't! I'd suggest pretending to have left something at her place, go round and rob the bitch!! Good luck fella.

james_aka_frosty 3

Wednesday 18 May 2011 0:35

even with the correction it doesn't make sense

Comments

whalen11 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 2:16

well arnt you a very smart person(:

Ruben123H 3

Friday 20 April 2018 11:37

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 50 078

You deserved it 8 775

Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 326

You deserved it 4 300

The Top

Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 320

You deserved it 2 790

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I agree, your life sucks 3 254

You deserved it 583

Today, my apartment complex added $250 to the $1,000 my roomate and I already owe because of an unauthorized pet and complaints from neighbors that our dog barks all night long. We don't have a dog, we don't even have a pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 929

You deserved it 2 523

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 438

You deserved it 9 206

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I agree, your life sucks 51 147

You deserved it 5 482

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 657

You deserved it 27 656