Health: Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump...

By TowelSmellsNice - 16/04/2010 12:34 - Malaysia

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 553

You deserved it 70 616

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Same thing different taste

TW: Gross

By sweet_stufz - 11/11/2010 13:30 - Canada

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 651

You deserved it 38 896

By Anonymous - 19/11/2012 21:08 - United States - Nutley

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 655

You deserved it 6 156

Thanks, Mr Whiskers

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 06:13 - Canada

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 881

You deserved it 5 982

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 025

You deserved it 2 792

Sneaky

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 612

You deserved it 4 962

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 257

You deserved it 4 967

By Anonymous - 15/06/2015 02:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 677

You deserved it 2 410

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 517

You deserved it 1 380

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 643

You deserved it 9 142

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 23:07 - Canada

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 503

You deserved it 5 644

chelsrageous 0

Friday 16 April 2010 19:32

I highly doubt this is true.

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Friday 16 April 2010 19:28

I'm sorry, OP, but it truly sucks to be you since... how do I put this delicately? You're a towel.

Comments

massagenist 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 13:53

chuck norris doesnt need a laptop, his brain has 10 quadrillion terabytes of ram.

rachs1161 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 14:52

maybe he was watching **** and knew he was gonna **** on himself, so wrapped a towel around his waist and forgot about taking the shit because he was so into the ****

namie1991 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 16:06

So in other words you shitted on yourself

jacobwhatwhat 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 18:25

you have bigger problems than that

rmkar9 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 19:19

who the **** uses a laptop while on the toilet?

ReequelNinja 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 19:43

FAIL! wouldn't u feel it there??? 

Isneezemoney 0

Sunday 18 April 2010 2:47

dude. that is NASTY!!! how could you just not feel that!? mann,,ughh. just thinking about that makes me want to vomitt! n.a.s.t.y! what did you do with the towle?