Miscellaneous: Today, I wrote a poem and was very proud of it. I showed it to...

By snappyPi - 28/01/2011 06:21

Today, I wrote a poem and was very proud of it. I showed it to my mom. After reading it, her response was, "What is this shit?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 126

You deserved it 5 714

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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By bad poet - 02/12/2013 01:57 - United States - Millerton

Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 748

You deserved it 4 662

By Briscuit - 05/12/2013 00:00 - Canada - Pitt Meadows

Today, I was granted a donation to pay for a creative writing course. When I told my mom she couldn't even muster a smile. She found her excitement later, however, when she posted how proud she was of me on Facebook. I can only get praise through my mom attention-whoring on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 116

You deserved it 2 658

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 11:43 - United States - Quakertown

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 988

You deserved it 4 924

By Jack - 09/08/2016 00:23 - United States - Asheville

Today, my mom said, "I'm sorry your life is such shit." She meant it as an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 980

You deserved it 1 361

By Alisha - 07/08/2012 18:04 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 176

You deserved it 2 345

Everyone's a critic

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I sent a love letter I'd written meant for my crush to a friend so she could evaluate my prose before I actually sent it to him. For some reason, my emotions got the best of me, and I mistakenly CC'd my mom. She replied with three crying-with-laughter emojis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 782

Anaconda

By lizbeth - 23/05/2021 04:01

Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 234

By yingyang2 - 06/01/2011 02:19 - United States

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 202

You deserved it 5 003

Lame

By gloria77 - 23/01/2012 23:26 - United States

Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 371

You deserved it 7 495

By Poem - 19/12/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, the only response I got was, "You may want to use a spellcheck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 052

You deserved it 26 278

RinnieRiot 9

Friday 28 January 2011 12:30

Welcome to the real world.

spikey818 9

Friday 28 January 2011 12:15

you have a nice mom

Comments

nicklythenick 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 20:37

What a horrible mom!! :(

frickme444 5

Friday 20 April 2012 3:59

Waaaaa

Krimzon 5

Monday 14 January 2013 23:58

Aint nobody got time for that!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 738

You deserved it 280

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 006

You deserved it 3 398

The Top

Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 847

You deserved it 3 055

Today, my sister used my mobile phone to call her boyfriend, who is married with children. His wife found my number on his phone and thought that I'm my sister. Since then, she has been calling me non-stop, calling me a "prostitute" each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 188

You deserved it 5 450

Today, I had a “Fuck you” shouting match with a guy who'd tailgated me in the slow lane through an active school zone. I flipped him off when he finally passed, which admittedly wasn’t my best move. He ended up beside me, windows down, where we verbally sparred like teenagers in a dick swinging contest. Regrettably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 553

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 184

You deserved it 59 898

Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say, "Rise and shine, sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so I replied, "What time is it? When is this fucking class going to be over?" it wasn't my boyfriend talking. It was my professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 129

You deserved it 84 821

I'm not a quitter!

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 91