By myself - 09/02/2015 13:32 - United States

Spicy
Today, it's been about a week since my boyfriend started his new medication, which has essentially killed any sex drive he had. It has also been about two weeks since I stopped mine, making me hornier than ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 464
You deserved it 4 547

Same thing different taste

Top comments

He was patient with you, so you should be patient with him

Learn how to coax him into having sex. Foreplay works both ways.

Comments

ladyg228 15

Hope you have a removable shower head. Those are the best

I wish my boyfriend would take that medication.

I feel that maybe you should deal with your own problem instead of wanting to kill of something natural and healthy

When did I say I wasn't happy that my boyfriend is attracted to me? Who wouldn't love that. And I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a problem to fix?

That you say that you wish that your boyfriend would take that medication tells me that you do not want to have very much sex while he does. And since sex is scientifically proven to be really good for you I consider there to be a problem to fix. If and how you address this is purely up to you two but most sexless relationships do not tend to last.

There are a lot of things good for people. Like exercise? Not too many people do that though now do they? And there are people who are in their 20s and 30s who've never even been kissed let alone have sex and their health is just fine. Take a damn joke would you?

44, those studies saying sex is supposed to be good for you generally never mention whether it's good for everybody or just people who really like sex. That's an important distinction to make, because as I can personally arrest to, sex isn't that exciting for some of us. In fact, I generally feel worse when I'm in the position of having regular sex, because then I'm dealing with someone who has a higher libido than mine and is probably causing me stress in other ways as well! Just bear in mind that those studies aren't universal.

I completely agree, 73. Sex isn't for everyone. Especially an asexual..

Agreed! Now, when I find someone who's into the same stuff I am and we're both in the mood, it can be fun, it's just that even if the other conditions are met, I only get those feelings maybe 4, 5 times a year. I don't know if that makes me asexual or not, but I'm definitely okay going without entirely!

Those are my exact feelings 76! I'm really attracted to my boyfriend, and we're into the same stuff, but I'm only in the mood like once or twice a year if I'm lucky. And it only started last year.. I figured it was a sexuality, but I'm open to other diagnoses. I'm glad someone else feels the same. I wish I knew why I got disliked before. Lol.

Apparently sex is generally considered so enjoyable by so many that not liking it makes you inhuman or something. :/ Though I'm not sure why it's also unusual for two people in a couple to have different levels of desire? Surely that basic concept isn't too foreign!

I am sorry for being disrespectful. It is fully ok and normal not to want to have sex ever or for periods of your life. Everyones libido goes up and down through life. The important thing is to communicate with your partner and, if there is a difference in libido, be willing to try and find the cause/make changes and not just say "I am happy with having almost no sex and therefore there is no problem". It might never change or take very long time but as long as you are not just refusing to try because you do not see a problem for yourself. If I understands you correctly, 77, you used to want more sex. This indicates to me that there might be a cause for this. A very usual reason is birth control pills. So if you are on those you should take to your doctor about changing to another kind or to another form of birth control all together.

Any major rapid change in body or mind should first be checked out before accepted. Sudden asexuality is almost never idiopathic or natural.

Number 81, I never meant that I used to want it, I meant that I've been pretty reluctant to sex all my life until recently, and it's still not that great.

You are still young 94. It might just be the case that you are not ready yet. Or it might be the way you are and that is fully normal as long as a doctor does not say otherwise! Society have quite a few ridiculous "standards" and it is impossible for anyone to reach them all. Do remember that if the sex itself is not good you should communicate with your partner and try to solve it together. You cant expect things to change if you do not say they need to change.

Thanks 96! (: I hope this is something that changes.

Can relate to that, hope you two can find a way in the middle

or something to restore the sex drive like something that makes you both really turned on

Charles900 16

Can I borrow some of it? I'd like nothing more than to destroy mine.

ForeverJasmine 26

Start by kissing down his neck and his body and maybe try giving him a BJ? That might get him in the mood for sex?

Hmm, giving him a bj when he's not in the mood for sex is more likely to fail miserably than magically re-ignite his sex drive! He's probably already feeling bad enough without that happening.

I don't think that's likely to work in this case. A low sex drive is a side effect of quite a few medications, and kissing his neck is not going to change that. When my boyfriend was on antidepressants, he went through quite a long period of having a low sex drive and not being able to get it up. It wasn't because he didn't want to, or because he didn't find me attractive, it was just a biological effect of the medication he was taking. Basically, it isn't just a case of not being in the mood

Attacksloth 33

First thing that came to mind here was "anti-depressant". I've been on a lot of them over the past five years, and this is probably one of the most annoying symptoms. All I can say is that the roles seem to be reversed, so just try to empathize with his situation, and let off some steam with masturbation.

Ouch, I feel for you. Time for a talk, me thinks!

Pick up a bacon perfume. Problem solved