By mr1234 - 02/12/2014 04:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's either be alone and miserable, or go on shitty dates and be miserable. I have no other options. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 510
You deserved it 6 756

mr1234 tells us more.

mr1234 6

OP here--I'm quite happy with my life otherwise; I have great family, a place to live and food to eat, a job I really like. I'm just very lonely. However, in my experience with dating sites, I get very frustrated because many of the dates go nowhere (because of many different reasons, many of them objectively pertaining to the other party). I do not go out to bars/clubs, and even though I have a number of activities outside the house, they are majority female (kickboxing, walking group, female friends that don't know a lot of single males, etc). I feel like I'm really missing that special someone in my life, and want to do all I can to find him, but "dating" is just making me feel worse and worse about myself (over multiple years). So literally, I have no other choice that to be unhappy (in this area) and alone, or be horribly uncomfortable on dates with strangers (which are indeed few and far between to begin with). So **** all of you for saying i deserve it. maybe with some background you'll understand that character limitations don't show the whole story.

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Top comments

ShenaniganNinja 20

Hey OP. I know dating sucks. I'm a guy, and I have to contend with the fact that 90% of men in online dating websites come off as crazy creeps. It makes every time I try and message someone an effort to demonstrate that I'm neither creepy nor crazy, while simultaneously keeping my messages short so I don't come off as desperate either. When it comes to online dating, it's a numbers game. You'll go on 20 shitty dates for every 1 good date. For when it comes to that, my aunt gave me a solid piece of advice on dating. A lot of people make really bad first impressions, but they're actually decent people. Give anyone who you don't immediately find distasteful or unattractive 3 dates. If by the 3rd date you don't care to see them again, don't bother. She said she's had lots of good relationships and dates that she would have passed up if she didn't follow this rule. Be patient OP.

66 2
patwo8 14

Try and see the bright side of everything and keep your head up

49 3

Comments

ThePols 11

Just try not to force things too much. Let it happen. The day you stop looking, it's when you will find it.

0 1
marleypuckpuck 22

When you have a shitty attitude, miserable is all you'll ever be.

9 1
graphicstyle7 17

No, you are doing the self-pity thing. You have more options and you know it. I dated back when I weighed 130 pounds more than I do now, and even then, some of those were not "shitty". BE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO DATE. I'm happily married now from following THAT EXACT ADVICE. BE an interesting, loving, giving, warm person, along with any other traits you desire, and that person WILL COME TO YOU EVENTUALLY. You have some evolving to do. Get with it if you want to stop whining about it.

14 2
TomeDr 24

You might want to consider a therapist and get a depression screening. No one deserves to be miserable all the time.

10 1
MrConcise 34

This is by far the whiniest FML I've ever seen. I hate the "nobody remembered my birthday" and "so lonely I cried" ones, but those are at least reasonable in some facet. This is seriously just begging for pity. Nobody deserves to be lonely, but your attitude is ******* terrible, OP.

11 4
cheeeksss 29

13- You literally said everything I was going to say. I love my "me time" and you should too, OP. Also, a little optimism can do wonders.

3 2
JuzReading 23

Your attitude is what making you miserable... Find a way to make yourself happy before going out on dates.

1 0
fsomelife 26

No, because it's easier to steal when someone's diverting attention.

19 1
fsomelife 26

There's always the option of a *****. Though you should probably work on hiding it better than that person who got beaten with one.

1 0
josiemorehouse 12

I agree that OP is in the YDI group. OP, maybe on these dates, you anticipate it being shitty and it is reflected in your body language. Men don't want self-conscious, self-loathing, miserable women. OP, try focusing some time on yourself. Do anything that you can to make yourself happy and comfortable in your own skin. Relax. Get a massage, buy a new outfit, adopt a kitten/puppy, walk through the mall and window shop or try on super expensive outfits and admire yourself, do things that you WANT to do to make yourself happier. Then, when you're able to relax, try another date. Maybe go to a dating site, like eHarmony or Match.com. And make sure that the fellas you're dating compliment your personality and share your interests. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you've got to use the right bait!! :) You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. Good luck OP!!

7 1