By mr1234 - 02/12/2014 04:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's either be alone and miserable, or go on shitty dates and be miserable. I have no other options. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 510
You deserved it 6 756

mr1234 tells us more.

mr1234 6

OP here--I'm quite happy with my life otherwise; I have great family, a place to live and food to eat, a job I really like. I'm just very lonely. However, in my experience with dating sites, I get very frustrated because many of the dates go nowhere (because of many different reasons, many of them objectively pertaining to the other party). I do not go out to bars/clubs, and even though I have a number of activities outside the house, they are majority female (kickboxing, walking group, female friends that don't know a lot of single males, etc). I feel like I'm really missing that special someone in my life, and want to do all I can to find him, but "dating" is just making me feel worse and worse about myself (over multiple years). So literally, I have no other choice that to be unhappy (in this area) and alone, or be horribly uncomfortable on dates with strangers (which are indeed few and far between to begin with). So **** all of you for saying i deserve it. maybe with some background you'll understand that character limitations don't show the whole story.

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Top comments

ShenaniganNinja 20

Hey OP. I know dating sucks. I'm a guy, and I have to contend with the fact that 90% of men in online dating websites come off as crazy creeps. It makes every time I try and message someone an effort to demonstrate that I'm neither creepy nor crazy, while simultaneously keeping my messages short so I don't come off as desperate either. When it comes to online dating, it's a numbers game. You'll go on 20 shitty dates for every 1 good date. For when it comes to that, my aunt gave me a solid piece of advice on dating. A lot of people make really bad first impressions, but they're actually decent people. Give anyone who you don't immediately find distasteful or unattractive 3 dates. If by the 3rd date you don't care to see them again, don't bother. She said she's had lots of good relationships and dates that she would have passed up if she didn't follow this rule. Be patient OP.

66 2
patwo8 14

Try and see the bright side of everything and keep your head up

49 3

Comments

aliciabaird1269 11

I feel like it wouldn't matter what your options were to fill your time. You deserve it for choosing to take such a miserable view on everything.

1 1
gunnerblaster 21

Learn to be happy with yourself, while on your own, before you throw yourself into a relationship.

0 0
trelnoheakoa 3

am I the only one that sees that OP has a date to go on and I have none but they're complaining?

1 0
Isa_fml 20

Not with that attitude.

1 1
DaniX9 5

Do something that doesn't make you miserable

0 2
molleyla 7

Find out the cause of you being miserable and take charge of Improving it. No one can make you happy other than yourself.

1 0
mr1234 6

OP here--I'm quite happy with my life otherwise; I have great family, a place to live and food to eat, a job I really like. I'm just very lonely. However, in my experience with dating sites, I get very frustrated because many of the dates go nowhere (because of many different reasons, many of them objectively pertaining to the other party). I do not go out to bars/clubs, and even though I have a number of activities outside the house, they are majority female (kickboxing, walking group, female friends that don't know a lot of single males, etc). I feel like I'm really missing that special someone in my life, and want to do all I can to find him, but "dating" is just making me feel worse and worse about myself (over multiple years). So literally, I have no other choice that to be unhappy (in this area) and alone, or be horribly uncomfortable on dates with strangers (which are indeed few and far between to begin with). So **** all of you for saying i deserve it. maybe with some background you'll understand that character limitations don't show the whole story.

65 6
ShenaniganNinja 20

Hey OP. I know dating sucks. I'm a guy, and I have to contend with the fact that 90% of men in online dating websites come off as crazy creeps. It makes every time I try and message someone an effort to demonstrate that I'm neither creepy nor crazy, while simultaneously keeping my messages short so I don't come off as desperate either. When it comes to online dating, it's a numbers game. You'll go on 20 shitty dates for every 1 good date. For when it comes to that, my aunt gave me a solid piece of advice on dating. A lot of people make really bad first impressions, but they're actually decent people. Give anyone who you don't immediately find distasteful or unattractive 3 dates. If by the 3rd date you don't care to see them again, don't bother. She said she's had lots of good relationships and dates that she would have passed up if she didn't follow this rule. Be patient OP.

66 2
xlord 27

Also there will always be YDI votes on every single FML. You shouldn't take it personally OP. ....it's the law of big numbers and it's the same with dislikes for any big YouTube video.

36 4
marcranger 28

OP, I don't know if you've had a "special someone" before, but I have a couple times now, and I can assure you that it's not all it's cracked up to be. Maybe you have to go through the wringer yourself to realize that yourself, but until you're in that position, make the most of your free time with your friends and hobbies. They'll always be there for you, which is way more than I can say about any of my boyfriends.

2 30
Soloman212 28

Yeesh, bitter much? I'm sure human nature and all of human history of couples working out and love and our natural affinity for companionship is a better measure of what OP should aim for than your 3 boyfriends. (Or possibly you, since you never had a good relationship apparently.)

7 15
marcranger 28

I guess I don't understand why love is held up as this all-encompassing ideal. Even when it's good, it's still a lot of work and stress, and when it's not good (and the divorce rate attests that AT LEAST 50% of the time, it deteriorates to that point) it's terrible. As for companionship, OP said she likes her friends and family. Friends and family provide all of the companionship without any of the bullshit and drama that inevitably come with throwing sex in the mix.

2 10
Fishin_for_Coins 7

Well aren't a you a pessimistic little beaver #81?

10 0
kaz55 9

If I made a list of everything in my life that I consider to be "work and stress," it would never even occur to me to include my husband on that list.

7 1
xxreikoxx 31

Being an east coast native, I'd have to say that my friends in California have the same hangup that you have about the crap dates v. loneliness. Must be the climate getting to them. :/

0 3
Pixiewolfe 46

I hope things got easier in the years that followed OP!

0 0
headphones23 6

just be alone and not miserable!! Dance in your underwear! Blast some music! Read a great book! make the night your own

10 1
MrsKilown 20

From the looks of the user name I'm pretty sure it's a man.. Hence the "Mr." I don't believe he gets free meals, and quite possibly that's why he always has a shitty time.

2 1