Love: Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near...

By reallyman__639 - 13/12/2011 12:26 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 560

You deserved it 17 505

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/07/2009 06:31 - United States

Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a ziploc filled with hair. It was his mustache I had been begging him to shave for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 804

You deserved it 20 455

By mylifesucks - 18/04/2009 07:20 - Netherlands

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 376

You deserved it 7 035

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 18 565

By salt. - 28/02/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 180

You deserved it 2 634

By NoRingForMe - 18/07/2012 17:03 - United States - Stamford

Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 887

You deserved it 14 064

By nickrick12 - 19/07/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 181

You deserved it 5 860

Brown and sticky

By Jon - 14/03/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 162

You deserved it 6 339

Nice try

By forgottenbday - 11/07/2012 05:09 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 629

You deserved it 2 764

Best birthday ever!

By IHateMyLife - 01/02/2021 08:01

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 177

You deserved it 292

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 18:10 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 140

You deserved it 4 170

skinthesnakes 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:04

Did you not "wand" it?

apache316 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:06

Screw the necklace, I'd take the wand.

Comments

potterlover 1

Wednesday 14 December 2011 12:08

Best present ever!! Your boyfriend has gold taste!! :D

yousirareamong 5

Wednesday 14 December 2011 12:11

Ungrateful little shit

Sencilia 14

Wednesday 14 December 2011 13:10

I don't see the problem.

scarypops 1

Wednesday 14 December 2011 15:53

Awesome!!!

dpgft10 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 16:03

Here's how I imagine it went down Boyfriend: *gazes into the horizon* You: hello? Boyfriend:I wonder (emphasis) Boyfriend:pulls box out

poetry10111 6

Wednesday 14 December 2011 16:56

I would love it if I got another wand do my birthday!

kxrider580 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 17:11

He is just a badass lol

Nicostream 16

Wednesday 14 December 2011 17:38

I say...OP's boyfriend is an idiot for not knowing that a wand will most likely not make her gf happy. Also, OP is a gold digger bitch.

madrabbit 3

Wednesday 14 December 2011 19:08

That is what you get for dating Harry Potter geeks.

chasestiner 7

Wednesday 14 December 2011 19:56

Heeyy a woman who wants jewelry and bitches when she doesn't get it! Classic

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 9 781

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You deserved it 18

The Top

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom. Apparently, my seeking medicinal treatments for my cancer is blasphemous. According to her, I should just pray my cancer away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 576

You deserved it 117

Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 888

You deserved it 26 223

Today, marks three weeks since I started my new dream job. It also marks the second time this week alone that I've clogged the toilet in the restroom. I'm almost 100% sure all my coworkers know it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 650

Today, we discovered that our wedding licence from 7 years ago is a complete fake. I don’t get it: we were married in a church by a priest, we got all our paperwork filed with the city council, but our certificate is apparently a fake someone made on a computer, and they got the date wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 90

Today, I was considering joining the army, so I asked my veteran uncle what the worst bits are. He told me the worst was learning for yourself just how horrible it is to see the light go out behind someone’s eyes as they die with your bullet in their chest. I don’t want to join the army anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 1 276

Today, in the early hours of the morning, two of my wisdom teeth simultaneously began emerging. In my haste to get painkillers, I accidentally smacked my recently broken foot on a door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 192

You deserved it 515