Love: Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near...

By reallyman__639 - 13/12/2011 12:26 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 560

You deserved it 17 504

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/07/2009 06:31 - United States

Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a ziploc filled with hair. It was his mustache I had been begging him to shave for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 803

You deserved it 20 452

By mylifesucks - 18/04/2009 07:20 - Netherlands

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 374

You deserved it 7 034

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 18 563

By salt. - 28/02/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 180

You deserved it 2 634

By NoRingForMe - 18/07/2012 17:03 - United States - Stamford

Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 883

You deserved it 14 061

By nickrick12 - 19/07/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 178

You deserved it 5 860

Brown and sticky

By Jon - 14/03/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 161

You deserved it 6 339

Nice try

By forgottenbday - 11/07/2012 05:09 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 622

You deserved it 2 764

Best birthday ever!

By IHateMyLife - 01/02/2021 08:01

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 292

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 18:10 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 139

You deserved it 4 169

skinthesnakes 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:04

Did you not "wand" it?

apache316 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:06

Screw the necklace, I'd take the wand.

Comments

sarahbeara2702 7

Tuesday 13 October 2015 6:47

OMG you got wand! Lucky!

Zeus_strike_me_w 15

Monday 23 November 2015 7:47

I'd prefer a wand

HylianTwilight 21

Wednesday 9 December 2015 18:19

Argggh I want a wand. :c I'm still so jealous of you, OP!

spleeN_fml 4

Thursday 21 January 2016 1:21

you're a wizard harry.

lilithfury 23

Sunday 6 March 2016 1:55

Wand beats necklace.

ar2ag3on 4

Friday 29 April 2016 7:49

honestly it's a present from your dude. sorry you got your hopes up, try to be happy and take the joke.

zbaker119 11

Saturday 18 June 2016 7:54

I like him. Keep him.

disturbedgd 26

Tuesday 21 February 2017 11:05

You say it like it's a bad thing

Josie Stiger 10

Friday 9 February 2018 21:17

That would have made me even more exited, Idk what you are talking about.

Keywords

Gross Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Kids Scary Mental health Parents Creepy Cold weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Dating Tinder Love Work Cute Transportation Cops Awkward Sports Crush Teachers Education AITA Public freakouts Mother in law Weddings

The Top

Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 980

You deserved it 3 382

Today, my boyfriend took me home to have dinner with his parents. I couldn’t eat a single bite after watching his mom let her three dogs taste all the food off her hands, while she also licked her own fingers while cooking. Later on, he dumped me for being rude and “too high maintenance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 139

The Top

Today, I was out to dinner with my boyfriend and his parents. It was my first time meeting them, so I was a bit nervous. As we were talking, I accidentally let out a loud burp. His parents looked at me in shock, and my boyfriend just laughed and said, "Well, she's certainly comfortable around you two." FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 208

Today, it's been almost two weeks since any of my relatives have talked to me. They are still mad because I didn't go on a Labor Day trip with them and I've found out why. Apparently, they had plans for me to babysit my younger cousins any time they wanted to do something fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 915

You deserved it 789

Today, I got a mass text message from a friend saying she's sorry she can't meet up with our group of friends for drinks because she's busy tonight. This is the first I've heard of any bar-crawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 412

You deserved it 2 598

Today, I moved into university residence, looking forward to finally being able to come out of the closet. I started chatting with the hot guy moving in next door to me. He said I was cool, and he was glad because he was afraid he'd be living next to a gay guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 225

You deserved it 11 210

Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 161

Today, my parents booked my 18th birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 306

You deserved it 8 338