Love: Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the...

By Anonymous - 19/07/2013 16:41 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 441

You deserved it 4 325

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 16:01 - United States

Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 094

You deserved it 3 398

Happy anniversary!

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 227

Happy Anniversary!

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 06:00

Today, it was my first anniversary with my husband. Not only were we mad at each other and not speaking the whole day, he doesn't even remember and spent the night out with his friends instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 291

Nice try

By Anonymous - 06/01/2022 16:59

Today, my wife forgot our anniversary, and since she always makes me suffer when I forget, I made a fancy 4-course meal in our living room, wearing a suit and tie to really rub it in that this time she forgot. Turns out I got the right date, but wrong month. It’s next month, and so… my suffering begins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 2 099

Happy… where d'he go?

By Lonely - 05/09/2021 04:59 - United States

Today, it's our fifth-year anniversary with my boyfriend. I gave him his gift and walked over to the kitchen to serve him some food I'd made. On my way back to the dining room, I overheard his plans with his friend to ditch me in 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 122

By Anonymous - 06/06/2019 04:05

Today, my husband told me that for our anniversary he will be watching the UFC fight, because it is, "one of the biggest events ever and he just can't miss it." Apparently, our one-year wedding anniversary is not as important. To add to it, he said we should watch it together. Very romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 662

You deserved it 572

By iheartexes - 06/11/2010 04:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bailed on our one year anniversary celebration because his ex girlfriend asked him to go to a wedding with her and pose as her fake boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 287

You deserved it 4 094

By Good Luck Chuck - 29/04/2013 17:07 - United States - Orlando

Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 289

You deserved it 5 707

By horribleday - 20/06/2017 09:00 - United States - Ozark

Today, my husband stood me up for his birthday dinner, that I'd made, in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 720

You deserved it 423

By Anonymous - 05/05/2012 07:08 - United States

Today, it was my wedding. Everyone showed up… except my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 352

You deserved it 3 223

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 20 July 2013 1:50

And she talked to you about it? No wonder it's amateur.

QQMorePlox 18

Saturday 20 July 2013 1:52

...5 rule of fight club no shirts no shoes. OP, why aren't you going to watch?!

Comments

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 20 July 2013 1:50

And she talked to you about it? No wonder it's amateur.

Thundering_Jibbs 13

Saturday 20 July 2013 2:00

If I were OP, I wouldn't eat his wife's split pea soup...

\ 28

Saturday 20 July 2013 2:09

I sure hope that parking lot isn't next to a liposuction clinic

rocker_chick105 31

Saturday 20 July 2013 3:34

The first rule of fight club...

powerhunger 4

Saturday 20 July 2013 6:43

It's funny because if the genders were reversed, the comments here would be a lot more different.

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 20 July 2013 12:06

For my part, my joke would've remained the same.

Ki11erC 18

Saturday 20 July 2013 18:41

You replied under 1's comment, no comment in this comment section would be different at all.

wowthatissad 9

Monday 22 July 2013 0:32

It's funny because your not supposed to talk about fight club.

IanMoone3611 12

Saturday 20 July 2013 1:51

Wait, isn't it usually the other way around?

CallMeWindSock 24

Saturday 20 July 2013 11:31

Never break up a fight between two females.

Ty_Peer 4

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:12

Or in this case, between a girl and herself

QQMorePlox 18

Saturday 20 July 2013 1:52

...5 rule of fight club no shirts no shoes. OP, why aren't you going to watch?!

uoeno_fml 20

Saturday 20 July 2013 2:44

Well they already broke the first rule

KylarStern19 7

Saturday 20 July 2013 4:27

And the second and the third

EnterSandman_fml 20

Saturday 20 July 2013 7:26

Maybe his wife's friends are Roseanne Barr, Rosie O'Donnell, Hillary Clinton, and Melissa McCarthy?

bribecrazyy 14

Saturday 20 July 2013 1:52

she sounds awesome! even if she did break the first rule.

tehman117 21

Saturday 20 July 2013 2:17

And second

missfrenchie 11

Saturday 20 July 2013 4:38

And third too

Horsempeg 25

Saturday 20 July 2013 18:59

That is pretty awesome.. sorry about you anniversary, but come on!

RoboCunnilingus 23

Saturday 20 July 2013 1:53

Why are you telling us this? WHAT THE FIRST RULE, OP?

walkingspastic 22

Saturday 20 July 2013 1:54

Sounds like a keeper to me. Make sure you keep her dinner warm!

ScenicSubterfuge 39

Saturday 20 July 2013 1:54

Dude. Your wife sounds awesome. I want her autograph in case she goes pro!

Warmonger_Smurf 29

Saturday 20 July 2013 2:01

I strongly advise you not to start an argument about this. Otherwise your next fml might involve the word hospital.

br00kr 22

Saturday 20 July 2013 2:03

Hahahahaha thats funny!!!

thatnucca 36

Saturday 20 July 2013 2:05

2nd rule of fight club: don't bail on fight club for any personal celebratory reasons... No?

poodle_juice 17

Saturday 20 July 2013 4:15

2nd rule of fight club: DO NOT talk about fight club.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

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Well. I must admit when I first received today's illustration, seeing the massive pliers pop out kind of freaked me out. Then I reached the last panel and I'm not sure if it's out of anxiety relief or what, but I laughed so hard I might have choked a...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 851

You deserved it 1 040

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Today, I found out why my girlfriend removed me from Facebook last week. Turns out she didn't want me to see pics of her with a new boyfriend. How I found out? My coworker, her new boyfriend, left his messenger open during lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 944

You deserved it 562

Today, I saved a woman from being mugged, and stayed with her until the police arrived. At which point she ignored me completely, and thanked the handsome 20-something police officer for making her feel safe, like I did nothing. Ungrateful cow. Next time the mugger can have your handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 337

You deserved it 1 369

Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 754

You deserved it 8 354

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 539

You deserved it 6 398

Today, we had customer complaints of a child molester hanging around our restaurant. After confrontation by a manager, he wouldn't leave. I had to be walked to my car after my shift by more than one person because I look 12 and they were afraid for me. I'm almost 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 960

You deserved it 2 178

Today, during foreplay, my husband asked if I found him sexually attractive. When I asked him back, after a yes, he was silent for two minutes then went into a ten-minute philosophical discussion on the nature of attractiveness. He would find me more attractive if I wasn't his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 687

You deserved it 326

Same thing different taste

Happy anniversary!

Happy Anniversary!

Nice try

Happy… where d'he go?

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