By Grand_Cookie - 16/04/2013 08:48 - United States - Norfolk

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 973
You deserved it 3 114

Grand_Cookie tells us more.

Grand_Cookie 21

Haha!! Thanks for the support and funny comments! I am a guy and these people she talks about are women and aren't there for anything violent. A few of them have drug/alcohol problems and the rest like to steal things which are also pretty much the same things my entire family did to get locked up at the same time along with some other stuff I don't feel like listing. The sad part is that some of them seem better then the semi-insane girls I usually end up talking to.

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Welshite 39

Monopoly does that to people. I end up in jail every time too.

226 5
Roskosity 22

Wow. Jail birds of a feather...

110 4

Comments

mnmolino 14

Go get some!!! Who cares about crime?

6 35
SynysterNero 20

Yea get some who cares if he/she is a rapist or murderer

18 1
kiswani_anas 4

A female rapist... Hmmm??? As as 'she' doesn't have an Adams apple

2 9
HarrisonVR 17

yeah because you need an Adam's apple to rape someone.. not something like a penis

8 3
pmadNess 16

Since OP doesn't state their sex, and I've never heard of coed jail, nor opposite sexes mingling in the rec yard, I'd feel safe to assume it's a female the mum is talking about. And that term is usually used to describe women...

7 0
NickaPLZ 26

Run. Run far away.

7 3
gracehi 31

On second thought, you must be a man, because your mother must, be searching for a partner for you in a female prison, and, if you were a lesbian, "breeding stock" probably wouldn't be an issue, not without medical intervention. So, let me rephrase: "Bad girls are animals in the sack!"

19 6
Pleonasm 35

The old ball and chain, eh? Except in this case it will take a more literal turn... Just watch out for that shotgun wedding!

29 6
pmadNess 16

OP could end up with a life sentence in this situation...

3 0
michaelm1290 23

Rule 76: No excuses, play like a champion.

1 4
Vidrill 22

It takes a really strong character to manage to stay out of trouble, when you grow up under these circumstances.... I am glad to see that there's people that can tell right from wrong even then. You have my respect and support OP!

12 1
3rdbass 9

When you go to jail, you lose your job. When you lose your job you end up having to find some means to support yourself. If said income is illict then you'll end up back in jail. It's a vicious cycle.

5 0
petergozinya37 8

It is possible to divorce your family.

2 4