Animals: Today, it was confirmed that the "no pet rule" in my apartment... - FML

By Monkeyless - 02/05/2012 03:59 - United States - Providence

Today, it was confirmed that the "no pet rule" in my apartment complex is so strict that I'm not even allowed to have sea monkeys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 348

You deserved it 2 961

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Same thing different taste

By goldfish - 06/03/2012 02:47 - Canada

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 149

You deserved it 3 891

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 13:57 - Norway

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 213

You deserved it 2 359

Summer vibes

By milksquad - 17/07/2017 14:11

Today, my roommates adopted two kittens without consulting me. We're not allowed to have pets in our apartment and I'm severely allergic to cats. Oh well, it's not like I needed to be able to breathe this summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 306

You deserved it 345

By Username - 18/02/2011 05:19

Today, I came home to a lease violation and a $220 fine after a routine pest control visit. The violation: my single beta fish in a small bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 464

You deserved it 4 968

WTF?

By Anonymous - 13/11/2018 05:00

Today, I was denied an animal adoption because I said "babies" instead of "kittens". Apparently that means I'm not serious about pet ownership. What?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 060

You deserved it 407

By bl3ur0z3 - 03/09/2018 22:00

Today, I learned that my new apartment complex does not allow "altercations in community areas". This includes pulling my child out of the pool and reprimanding him for holding his cousin under water. I can't parent outside my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 075

You deserved it 263

By cande - 01/12/2009 03:22 - United States

Today, my apartment complex added $250 to the $1,000 my roomate and I already owe because of an unauthorized pet and complaints from neighbors that our dog barks all night long. We don't have a dog, we don't even have a pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 927

You deserved it 2 522

HOAs suck

By Slivered - 18/11/2009 09:50 - Canada

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy, which requires pet owners to carry their dogs in common areas after someone's dog kept peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 127

You deserved it 3 957

By brokeass - 13/06/2012 12:29 - United States

Today, I called the landlord about the mouse I keep seeing in my kitchen. He wasted no time accusing me of keeping it as a pet, and went off on me about his "no pets" policy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 223

You deserved it 1 976

WOOF WOOF

By fuck! - 16/05/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbors, in my supposedly pet-free apartment complex, got a puppy. It’s a Great Dane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 111

Next

Top comments

Angitia 8

Wednesday 2 May 2012 8:38

Wow... what the hell could a bunch of shrimp possibly do?

AugustBurnsToast 14

Wednesday 2 May 2012 8:42

What about pet rocks?! :D

Comments

angelofsaturn 23

Wednesday 2 May 2012 21:10

Sea monkeys tried to kill my friend's cat. They're evil. Lol

spottyblanket 8

Wednesday 2 May 2012 22:15

Hey OP you are not a landlord and you haven't had to repaint and clean a place after it stinks of cat piss, or 20 bird perches have been glued to the ceiling--you have NO idea. :| I've done all that and worse, all because I'm nice and let people have pets. Landlord have to exclude everything to be fair, which is not easy...the alternative is having to clean up after gross people AND their animals...and trust me, people are animals enough *shudder* I could tell you plemty of horror stories.

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Sunday 6 May 2012 8:09

What damage would they be expecting sea monkeys to cause? Those things can live in a pitcher of water.

Calyx_fml 21

Wednesday 2 May 2012 22:25

How about a pet human? Bring out the gimp.

extraberry 9

Wednesday 2 May 2012 22:26

You know what a big mess sea monkeys can make

Calyx_fml 21

Wednesday 2 May 2012 22:28

Or pet pubic lice?

shannonreneee 11

Thursday 3 May 2012 0:20

You've never lived.

Nerfherder69 14

Thursday 3 May 2012 4:59

I've got sea monkeys! They're ******* awesome

kense12 0

Thursday 3 May 2012 5:31

Lol, what pole got stuck up their butts? Sea monkey are amazing pets!

merko 8

Thursday 3 May 2012 5:37

Maybe imaginary pets is the way to go.

BloodFaerie 21

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:03

Sea monkeys are small shrimp... so technically they're food.... does that make them livestock? Do they have a rule against livestock??

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The Top

Today, I was working a concert ticket booth. A lady gave me her ticket, I punched it, and told her to enjoy the show. She asked for the “hotel.” Apparently, she thought that the concert ticket cost included a hotel stay, since she traveled from out of state. She cussed me out and had to be escorted out. FML

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Today, for my husband's birthday next weekend, I booked a holiday which he was happy about… until I told him it was a surprise family holiday so I'd invited his kids and their families. Now he doesn’t want to go and has made up a fake work emergency. He’s a bus driver. FML

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The Top

Today, I went back home for a visit after nearly 10 years. I met up with some old friends at a bar and had an amazing evening. Afterwards, two of the wives told me I’m never allowed to speak to, nor see their husbands again, since I slept with them in high school. This was years before they even met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

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Today, my boyfriend of six months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He went quiet, and I heard barking in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 169

You deserved it 5 012

Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML

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You deserved it 592

Today, my grandmother gave me a sex talk on how I should take "precautions", right in the middle of a packed bus station. I'm 21. FML

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You deserved it 2 274

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 661

You deserved it 13 257

Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML

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You deserved it 7 707