Transportation: Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I...

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By rene - 22/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 883

You deserved it 3 369

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 04:57 - United States - Paducah

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 037

You deserved it 4 331

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 17:09 - Philippines - Makati

Today, after a week of looking for my car keys and being forced to drag my family around on public transportation, my wife found the keys in our car's ignition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 090

You deserved it 32 280

Partyblocked

By story of my life - 07/03/2022 02:00

Today, it's my birthday. I'd asked my mom weeks ago if she could watch my kids, so my husband and I could go celebrate. She told me an hour before we were supposed to leave I'd have to reschedule, so she could watch my brother's kids while he goes out for fun. Gee, thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 107

Drive

By Anonymous - 20/11/2021 16:59 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. Two of my best friends forgot it, and so did my grandparents. All of my friends were busy, so I spent it alone in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 132

Lower your expectations

By Brilliant... - 25/05/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year-olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 589

You deserved it 5 315

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 11:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 213

You deserved it 5 411

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 11:29 - Netherlands

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 778

You deserved it 3 825

By Thomas - 13/12/2009 06:46 - Canada

Today, I woke up to find my parents singing "Happy birthday" with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 750

You deserved it 2 719

By not_so_sweet_sixteen - 17/03/2009 03:10 - United States

Today, was my sixteenth birthday. I was hoping to get a car. Instead, my parents got me a 3 month membership at the gym so I can lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 502

You deserved it 55 835

By nick - 24/07/2012 00:52 - United States - Palm Desert

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 502

You deserved it 12 607

TheMadScientist 13

Monday 22 August 2011 23:00

Awesome kids!

takanuva0123 0

Monday 22 August 2011 23:01

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Comments

Brattyninja 7

Monday 22 August 2011 23:02

firt agaun

ohmygodthatsux 0

Monday 22 August 2011 23:02

hah

JocelynKaulitz 28

Monday 22 August 2011 23:02

At least it's something you're gonna use every day :)

sfballgrl0000 3

Monday 22 August 2011 23:02

awww that was nice of them

Keeelsey 0

Monday 22 August 2011 23:02

At least they gave them back! I mean come on, they could have driven off..

FinJage 18

Monday 22 August 2011 23:03

You should be happy, they could've kept them.

Salkadi 9

Monday 22 August 2011 23:03

That was so nice of them. They found your keys and gave them back to you on your birthday. What a nice surprise!

fmlikecrazy 0

Monday 22 August 2011 23:04

Ydi for letting them take your keys.

fatraptorjesus13 9

Wednesday 24 August 2011 4:35

yes because you keep your keys strapped to your forehead 24/7 so nobody can get near them

Glitterhinoceros 14

Monday 22 August 2011 23:04

How sweet

markiesharkie 0

Monday 22 August 2011 23:06

at least they gave them back

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Today, after spending 6 months and $15,000 on lawyer fees at my 13 year-old son's request, his abusive, alcoholic father no longer has any legal right to see him. How did my son repay me? He ran away to live with his father the very first time I told him he couldn't have friends sleep over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 251

You deserved it 7 821

Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patient's room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 915

You deserved it 35 736

The Top

Today, my boss at my new job described a client as "retarded". I corrected him with "mentally disabled". He smirked and replied "Whatever. Just explain things to her real slow. After all, she's 'mentally disabled'. And a woman." I need this job so bad that I'll have to just put up with this asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 713

You deserved it 3 642

Today, my mother had a Kitty Party (sort of), and I was in charge of the tea and snacks. I was so busy I didn't pay attention to their discussion. After everything was done, I heard my mother talking about my poop colour and how unhealthy it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 133

Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said, "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha, a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 677

You deserved it 4 391

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 499

You deserved it 5 327

Today, I learnt that I could be happy and free from the negative emotions brought on by my ongoing clashes with my fiancée. All it took were some tears in front of my mum for her to assure me that it's okay to be alone and single, and to do whatever is best for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 189

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 790

You deserved it 4 447

Same thing different taste

Partyblocked

Drive

Lower your expectations

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