Work: Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was... - FML

By bad luck? - 19/01/2012 05:44 - Australia

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 123

You deserved it 2 682

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Same thing different taste

Trigger happy

By Anonymous - 13/06/2020 05:00

Today, I was shot and arrested for trespassing. I'm a firefighter and I was saving a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 396

You deserved it 118

Work until you drop dead

By Anonymous - 17/06/2022 16:00

Today, my ex shot me. Actually shot me. After I woke up from surgery, I told my manager I would obviously need sick leave. She told me she was shot in the army, and got over it because she’s "not a pussy", so she expects me back at work, recovering from a gunshot to the chest, by Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 106

By BOHICA123 - 08/10/2013 02:08 - United States - Brighton

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 185

You deserved it 5 288

By AtLeastThereWasAParamedic - 02/03/2017 20:00

Today, I was walking on the sidewalk near my house when a car pulled out of a parking spot in front of a speeding ambulance. The ambulance swerved up onto the grass. Yes, I broke my arm after being hit by an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 931

You deserved it 433

By Jim - 09/10/2017 13:00

Today, I was walking to the bus for my first day at my new school. I tripped in the darkness and split my chin open and broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 354

You deserved it 277

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 553

You deserved it 2 553

The precious truck

By Anonymous - 05/09/2021 11:00

Today, I got fired because, while responding to an emergency page for the volunteer fire department to help find a man in a field with a gunshot wound, I backed into a rock with the company truck that I drive to and from work. Nobody asked about the guy with the bullet inside him. He's OK now, in case anyone cares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 166

Kids…

By guessimdead - 19/04/2009 23:07 - United States

Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 114

You deserved it 3 721

By red_headforlife - 28/09/2012 05:34 - United States - Chandler

Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time, and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 296

You deserved it 2 541

By Tey - 22/12/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 921

You deserved it 17 854

Next

Top comments

lifesucks1234567_fml 2

Thursday 19 January 2012 12:23

**** you for trying to be funny.

MrsDepp 12

Thursday 19 January 2012 12:11

Except it's 000 in Australia

Comments

DaylightDiesInNJ 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 9:03

That's why paramedics sit in their Suburban trucks all day. They don't have the street smarts of EMT's, the physical training of Cops, or the bravery of firefighters. Pathetic.

yourlifesfucked 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 16:37

2 people accidentally hit thumbs up....

LNW217 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 23:50

At lease you know how to stop the bleeding????

asoose94 2

Sunday 22 January 2012 3:59

should've remembered scene safety :(

YooEfO 4

Sunday 22 January 2012 4:20

At least ur alive I wouldn't be complaining, it could of been worse!

XxTooCoolxX 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 14:01

If only you were a amberlampsh driver!

Shady_Griffin 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 15:41

Oh the irony

ugot_mayellad 0

Monday 23 January 2012 6:11

Everyone, look at comment 134. Would you wanna mess with that badass jasonfawcett? Not me

chipmunkman 5

Monday 23 January 2012 19:36

83: someone's been playing too much call of duty

MMAlegendDAWT 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 6:57

I get shot in the arm every 6 months! I get a shot once a year for the flu, had a shot for meningitis, etc. Nowhere does this FML say gunshot.

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Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 713

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 145

The Top

Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 088

You deserved it 2 461

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth pulled. When I woke up I found out they pulled the wrong one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 801

You deserved it 221

Today, my boss decided to start a sport challenge where we should set a training goal and report about achieving it. Okay, I go to the gym a few days a week, but I'm really not interested in this collective motivation crap. Later, our boss hinted that if I don't take part, I may get fired for breaking the team spirit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 109

Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 292

You deserved it 2 479

Today, my boss announced that instead of holiday bonuses being on the cards, the company is going under and we'll all be out of a job next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 676

You deserved it 2 272

Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 503

You deserved it 5 388