Animals: Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel....

By not twilight - 05/12/2015 00:47 - United States - Charlotte

Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 476

You deserved it 1 645

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Same thing different taste

By TheStudentNurse - 18/11/2016 00:07

Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 834

You deserved it 609

Very bad idea

By Yoir mom - 16/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I realized I was late for work, so I rushed out of bed only to accidentally step onto my dog which then promptly bit my leg and now I'm in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 898

You deserved it 538

Battery

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 05:00

Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 721

You deserved it 225

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 553

You deserved it 2 553

By keiran123 - 27/06/2013 23:15 - United States - Welsh

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 290

You deserved it 3 332

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 20:14 - United States - Columbia City

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 443

You deserved it 9 333

By ginya - 07/06/2016 01:58 - United States - Bedford

Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 1 083

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 780

You deserved it 11 015

By bitten - 15/05/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 081

You deserved it 2 795

Yucky!

By theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 3 825

theoldman 22

Saturday 5 December 2015 20:07

I would still get a rabies shot.

MRVOlivia2 15

Saturday 5 December 2015 20:06

I guess when you spend enough time with animals you pick up their behaviors.

Comments

shamutrainer2b 23

Sunday 6 December 2015 8:32

How exactly does this happen? Does the coworker bite the dogs too?

Shmatterhorn 38

Sunday 6 December 2015 9:16

Forget rabies. Does your coworker have distemper? You might want to get that checked on.

PANDORUM89 21

Sunday 6 December 2015 15:54

I worked at a dog kennel, I discovered I love animals, but not a lot of them at one time in an enclosed echoy space

genshift 8

Sunday 6 December 2015 20:02

It may be time to put him/her down.

chxkira 14

Sunday 6 December 2015 20:08

What a wonderful species we are

Mooglefox 23

Monday 7 December 2015 19:43

Please tell me that the coworker was a dog...

ZGLH 11

Tuesday 15 December 2015 4:42

I dont care who you are that's pretty funny

unholyswiss 19

Monday 7 March 2016 9:51

That sounds like a tale of mystery and intrigue, did they by chance have rabies too?

Creepyorfunny 10

Tuesday 26 July 2016 12:06

Tell managementl.

tigeresscrazy 12

Wednesday 14 September 2016 23:07

Just proves animals can be more civilized then some humans lol

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USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 15

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 808

The Top

Today, at my engagement party, I overheard my future father-in-law saying he was happy his son was marrying "the dumb, pretty one" because all the "smart ones" he dated at university were "nerds with small tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 610

You deserved it 411

Today, I had a double wedding with my sister. My mother, being as encouraging as she always is, told us that statistics say one of our marriages will end in divorce. She then explained she thinks it'll be mine because I'm "a self-absorbed bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 697

You deserved it 8 945

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 246

You deserved it 4 260

Today, I found out that the man who came into work yesterday, the man who tried to grope me from over the counter, the one who spat his drink in my face, the one who kicked me in the shins when he didn't like the way his food tasted, is a regular and I can expect him three times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 577

You deserved it 2 465

Today, I'm in a long-term relationship with a woman I love to bits, but I have a crush on a coworker. I've tried to brush it off, but it's only getting stronger. The worst part? I think she likes me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 1 130

Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 638

You deserved it 1 056

Same thing different taste

Very bad idea

Battery

Yucky!

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