Miscellaneous: Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me...

By pissed out pants - 18/01/2015 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 977

You deserved it 3 953

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Same thing different taste

By gengiskarn69 - 12/03/2012 14:55 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 975

You deserved it 38 681

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 581

You deserved it 2 558

By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 18:55 - Europe

Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 710

You deserved it 1 738

By sonofaneuroticwench - 20/08/2014 20:08 - United States - Rice Lake

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 669

You deserved it 3 392

By :( - 28/03/2014 20:25 - Sweden - Ume

Today, my grandma reduced me to a sobbing wreck in two short sentences, just to win a bet against my mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 717

You deserved it 4 823

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 700

You deserved it 5 699

Drama!

By fuckparents - 09/01/2012 23:01 - United States

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 808

You deserved it 3 666

By psychic parents, how do they work? :( - 31/07/2013 22:49 - United States - Effingham

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 700

You deserved it 47 503

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 18:08 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 348

You deserved it 41 596

Spooky

By Scaredwitless - 28/01/2011 04:35 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 916

You deserved it 6 020

skyeyez9 24

Monday 19 January 2015 5:29

Wth is wrong with your dad?! That is a cruel thing to do

FrozenMusic 26

Monday 19 January 2015 5:30

Suicide isn't something to joke about

Comments

BlindlyWandering 17

Monday 19 January 2015 17:34

I'm guessing you've never heard a real gunshot before. There is NO way speakers can replicate that sound and fool anyone who has heard one in real life. That being said, what a ****** up thing for your dad to do.

NamelessFace 22

Monday 19 January 2015 18:06

Surround sound, my friend. Surround sound.

BlindlyWandering 17

Tuesday 20 January 2015 8:15

No, can't happen. Its just not possible, the way the sound is produced by a speaker vs a real gun is COMPLETELY different.

SkullSphinx 10

Monday 19 January 2015 18:16

You're dad is awesome!

EmazingMe 6

Monday 19 January 2015 18:30

And the award goes too...not your Dad that was messed up

ShoyuSauceSoup 26

Monday 19 January 2015 18:34

Sorry, but your dad sucks. Suicide is not the kind of thing that you can joke with.

bayweebear 14

Monday 19 January 2015 19:19

your dad is a jerk. that's NOT funny. my cousin committed suicide by shooting herself.. not something to joke about.

Danielvera212 4

Monday 19 January 2015 19:19

Dude your dad is awesome

SaturnCheese 5

Monday 19 January 2015 19:32

As someone who is currently struggling with depression and wanting to commit suicide, your father is a complete ******* douchebag. Suicide is NOT something ANYONE should EVER joke about. I'm real sorry he pulled that shitty joke on you, I hope you're doing okay.

eerrun 8

Monday 19 January 2015 19:54

uhohitslisa2 20

Monday 19 January 2015 20:21

That is not cool at all. Your dad is a dick. Hope you're okay though, OP.

Sparx1_1 16

Monday 19 January 2015 20:49

This wasn't even a joke or meant to be a joke. OP said his dad did it to make him cry like a bitch - because his mom made a bet with him over it. Sorry OP but both your parents are ****** up beyond comprehension. What they did was sickening. I don't know what your life with them is like the rest of the time, but you need to sit your parents down and explain to them just how upsetting this was for you. Things like this are scarring and ruin relationships. It's already a guarantee that you will never trust or respect them the same way again - they have a lot to fix.