Miscellaneous: Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As...

By shootme - 13/11/2011 22:46 - Canada

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 346

You deserved it 58 544

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 625

You deserved it 3 725

By beccabooyah - 20/11/2011 00:52 - United States

Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my newsfeed, I noticed a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to properly shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 744

You deserved it 38 697

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 23:07 - Canada

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 504

You deserved it 5 644

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

By WhyTheFNot - 20/06/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 475

You deserved it 9 331

Check your feeds!

By Captain Oops-a-Lot - 03/11/2023 00:02

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I mistakenly took a screenshot and then proceeded to fumble my phone. It wasn't until 5 hours later when I recharged it that I realized I had unintentionally posted the screenshot of me on the toilet to Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 576

Shared towel

By shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 062

You deserved it 1 241

By 2gewd4u - 15/01/2012 01:24 - United States

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 242

You deserved it 4 099

Autopilot

By TuteBananaCupcake - 29/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 571

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 653

ReesesPuffs 0

Monday 14 November 2011 1:10

*waits for somebody to say that's a shitty situation*

flockz 19

Monday 14 November 2011 1:11

sorry but they probably don't have an app for cleaning shit stains off your phone.

Comments

Inciter 33

Monday 14 November 2011 1:13

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

cchan034 23

Monday 14 November 2011 1:15

Who doesn't?

jesernoob 13

Monday 14 November 2011 5:56

ditto;)

Livencountry 5

Monday 14 November 2011 1:13

"Apple proudly presents! iWipe 4s!"

tarabelle 7

Monday 14 November 2011 2:10

^^win(: but who said it was an iPhone?

Livencountry 5

Monday 14 November 2011 5:49

I did of course!

tarabelle 7

Monday 14 November 2011 12:41

Gotcha(:

swinglifeaway123 8

Monday 14 November 2011 1:14

Did you sniff it? Betcha did...

RaquelRox2299 0

Monday 14 November 2011 1:18

that's disgusting...

pfx2_fml 15

Monday 14 November 2011 2:10

What is wrong with you?

swinglifeaway123 8

Monday 14 November 2011 2:18

Hey, op did it, not me

swinglifeaway123 8

Monday 14 November 2011 5:02

And what's wrong with me? I was a crack baby. Thank you. Asshole.

fishboy123 7

Monday 14 November 2011 1:14

Must be a shitty phone

hatersgunnahat 0

Monday 14 November 2011 1:16

I had a feeling someone was going to say that. e_e

Livencountry 5

Monday 14 November 2011 1:21

33- your typed out eyes look like stoner eyes.

Torva_fml 16

Monday 14 November 2011 1:37

Must be a shitty comment.

kimmiekimmiekong 0

Monday 14 November 2011 2:35

we actually went so long with out making a comment like this, than u had to... u are a shitty person for saying that shitty joke!

fishboy123 7

Monday 14 November 2011 4:27

Your a shitty person for being born, k? Now stfu :) thank you

truehitman2010 0

Monday 14 November 2011 1:15

That's a shitty sittuation.

hatersgunnahat 0

Monday 14 November 2011 1:18

*Situation

Torva_fml 16

Monday 14 November 2011 1:38

God damn it.... Your an idiot, that shit isn't funny! Why do people constantly post this...

MyPupRox 2

Monday 14 November 2011 1:15

At least you didn't drop it in the toilet. That happened to my iPhone 4.

P374RD3D 9

Monday 14 November 2011 5:29

Cool story

wishfulmidget 0

Monday 14 November 2011 5:54

bro

Dsk0ne1 5

Monday 14 November 2011 10:31

Now make me a sandwich

fallingstarsxox 8

Monday 14 November 2011 1:16

Oh man that's gross

BenniiTora 6

Monday 14 November 2011 1:16

Lol at least now people can smell you talking shit as well.

Torva_fml 16

Monday 14 November 2011 1:44

Posting it twice doesn't make it any better.

Strafeh 9

Monday 14 November 2011 1:16

Sanding FTW

leadman1989 15

Monday 14 November 2011 1:16

Better than doing it with your hand. Who am I kidding your hand was probably covered. FYL

Torva_fml 16

Monday 14 November 2011 1:40

I'd just like to say... I looked at your profile, not because it was HILARIOUS, or offensive... Just dumb, and I had to see if you had any creativity. ;)

leadman1989 15

Monday 14 November 2011 1:50

Well I didn't think it was dumb it's reasonable to think that if you wipe with your phone some will get on your hands. As to whether or not I have talent that can't be determined here I just post random comments now music, drawing/painting/digital art, and a little bit of acting those are what I strive to be talented in. I know thumb me down I'm off topic sorry. :(