Miscellaneous: Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we...

By AquaRevolver - 25/05/2009 10:35 - New Zealand

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 695

You deserved it 54 446

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 18:00

Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 928

You deserved it 835

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 794

You deserved it 25 010

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 14:58 - United States - Commack

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 803

You deserved it 3 660

By fuck - 21/04/2012 02:48 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 921

You deserved it 4 078

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 3 513

By LagSwitchFTW - 25/01/2013 22:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 080

You deserved it 6 013

By clumsylobster - 13/10/2014 21:33 - Australia - Perth

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 887

You deserved it 3 555

By raebelle - 02/06/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 647

You deserved it 10 775

By sore - 21/10/2009 08:27 - Australia

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 273

You deserved it 6 679

Ballin'

By oww - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 055

You deserved it 722

stunty_fml 0

Monday 25 May 2009 20:02

Friendly fire? Isn't.

emer_helena 0

Monday 25 May 2009 20:34

I love how you dont say that you shot her by accident

Comments

iloveidi0ts 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 22:18

#13- Way to be a hardcore feminist :]. Chill, he just wanted to showoff XD. Oh! And speak for yourself- I don't mind a "big, macho, manly guy" :']

chinkeyxsmile 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 0:49

lol.

WhEaTgRiNdEr 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 3:24

wow man learn how to shoot for shit sake and #13 stop being a feminist peice of shit its ppl like you that make me want to be a sexist asshole

kingez77 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 6:28

all hail the mighty protector. but don't let him protect you. he might break your finger too. dumbass.

stlzach 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 19:03

this is a bullshit lie. a paintball can not break any bone. unless its like a bone in your inner ear or something. it would have to be EXTREMELY fragile. I paintball every weekend for the past 3 years. A paintball will not break a bone. ever.

mister_moops 0

Friday 29 May 2009 8:25

you're so manly.

Layjin_Nailo 0

Friday 29 May 2009 22:54

How the F did you shoot her finger?! It would have had to been stuck in the freaking barrel lol

Leaveittosteven 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 7:46

13 and 14 - shut up. She broke her damn finger from a ball of soft plastic and paint. There's a .02% chance of being injured playing paintball (http://www.paint-ball.org/paintball/safety_report.htm), do you understand? This girl is frail; she needs to be protected. I've been run over by a 4 wheeler, punched in the face like 100 times, and yes, even shot with paintballs, and I've never broken anything. Guess which sex I belong to? Men are stronger than women for reasons you may never understand and would probably deny anyway but have to do with very basic science. Women are also obviously not more independent than men, considering this isn't even a measurable variable and the fact that most women are just conformist fools/daddy's girls.

yehr 0

Monday 30 November 2009 10:03

like SOME guys are machoism confirmists.. you get them everywhere. Societies learning.

lovely997 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 0:09

aww that sucks fyl, but at least you had good intentions

kirtan_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 2:18

Please stop posting fmls, you lost that right when you started bad mouthing paintball, its damn near impossible to break bone, especially if ur renting (most places keep their renting guns set low)