Kids: Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager...

By Anonymous - 17/11/2014 15:47 - United States - Rochester

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 850

You deserved it 4 096

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/05/2015 15:31 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 511

You deserved it 3 729

Wide words

By julia - 11/06/2011 11:12 - United States

Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 092

You deserved it 7 822

Uptight girl, she's been living in her uptight world…

By TheVirginJenny - 07/10/2012 00:05 - United States - Spanaway

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 295

You deserved it 7 890

By blazer - 30/06/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 069

You deserved it 14 683

By aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 836

You deserved it 6 587

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 00:50 - United States

Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 234

You deserved it 7 586

By younggrammy - 20/08/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 230

You deserved it 45 498

By Magnus_the_Red - 09/09/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to "ruin my innocence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 621

You deserved it 3 985

By Noname - 06/03/2009 19:04 - United States

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488 293

You deserved it 106 787

By Anonymous - 02/11/2011 20:18 - United States

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 728

You deserved it 5 871

Crenny 16

Monday 17 November 2014 19:23

Volcanoes aren't places you wanna be thrown into.

Classy_Sassy_15 15

Monday 17 November 2014 19:23

You should have that talk with her

Comments

chaosta 2

Tuesday 18 November 2014 19:37

are you trying to piss off the volcano god?

ShunGokuSatsu 5

Wednesday 19 November 2014 3:12

Pele demands a sacrifice!

Parvati48 15

Wednesday 19 November 2014 5:04

This made my eye twitch, your daughter needs to be educated and quickly before she does something stupid...

fmlrulesBolt 14

Wednesday 19 November 2014 9:01

Have fun with that

Lianavlogs 7

Wednesday 19 November 2014 12:07

Am I the only one who understood why she said that?, it's a card from the game "Cards Against Humanity" :

fazerfazer 4

Wednesday 19 November 2014 17:40

...

harley1077 9

Thursday 20 November 2014 19:48

tell her it's the other way around. you get thrown in the volcano if you have sex before you are married. lol

fastcubesolver 5

Wednesday 26 November 2014 9:32

Cards Against Humanity.

Azellia 15

Tuesday 16 December 2014 3:11

You should inform her that unicorns only trust virgins though.

thelionsmane 3

Sunday 4 January 2015 3:20

What the actuall f

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 1 107

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 668

You deserved it 39 753

The Top

Today, my grandpa told us he wanted to fit in. His idea of fitting in is streaking in a park at 4:00 pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 317

You deserved it 3 598

Today, while at a night club, I was wearing a brand new outfit that I absolutely loved. I was enjoying myself until I felt something wet drop onto my head and body from above. It was puke from a drunk guy in the V.I.P. section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 652

You deserved it 646

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 847

You deserved it 4 008

Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 134

You deserved it 2 982

Today, I bitched out my grandmother, who lives with my family, for being lazy and laying in bed until 6-7pm for the past month. When I was done, she told me she had been diagnosed with cancer and was depressed because of it. Nobody had bothered to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 475

You deserved it 102 463

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537 563

You deserved it 53 183

Same thing different taste

Wide words

Uptight girl, she's been living in her uptight world…

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