Kids: Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes.... - FML

By Anonymous - 30/07/2011 02:10 - United States

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 386

You deserved it 18 662

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Same thing different taste

By grapes - 15/11/2015 22:12 - United States - Westfield

Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 311

You deserved it 1 899

By StockedWithJuice - 06/07/2013 15:14 - United States - Austin

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 799

You deserved it 5 336

By parentfail - 11/12/2010 14:44 - United Kingdom

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 478

You deserved it 70 765

Start 'em young

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 23:00

Today, my 3 year-old toddler wanted to try my wine. I kept telling her it’s adult juice and she wouldn’t like it. When she kept bugging me about it I gave in, and gave her a tiny sip. She liked it, and continued to bug me about it even more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 1 555

She's not wrong

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 06:00

Today, I reprimanded my daughter for eating too many chips, since it's not good for you. She responded with, "Know what else isn't good for you? Two cigarettes a day." I couldn't even come up with a retort. I can't believe I just got burned by a ten-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 2 155

Prince Charming

By muskogee - 20/09/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 355

By eenkoekje - 13/05/2011 07:20

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 328

You deserved it 15 918

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 292

Best teeth in the game

By jj. - 08/09/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, as always, my mom loudly asked me if I'd brushed my teeth, then replied to my yes with, “I don’t believe you.” All because I forgot to brush my teeth once when I was 5. I’m 17 now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 67

Hangry

By Anonymous - 23/05/2021 06:01

Today, my son threw a temper tantrum and told me I “should have aborted him” and threatened to run away from home. Why? Because I nicely asked him to share his french fries with his sister. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 253

Next

Top comments

hannahtaskey 9

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:20

Kids learn from their parents you know...

pwincessa23 1

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:20

you should have told him to swallow it! if he chocked than you can tell him "and that is why you don't swallow grapes"

Comments

myflowers 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 5:24

We no longer operate on survival of the fittest

josh28 4

Sunday 31 July 2011 6:04

so did you know the answer?

kurtap 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 6:50

your a horrible parent and person

ugh_a_lug 7

Sunday 31 July 2011 7:34

So tired of the FML's ending in, "I raised this dumbass." Or "I can't believe this dumbass is my friend." Or "I went out with this dumbass." Or "I can't believe this dumbass is my boss." Or any variation of the OP calling somebody involved in their life a dumbass (or any synonym with dumbass). Please people! Originality! Plus, that phrase to conclude your FML moment really isn't as funny and clever as you think it is because everybody uses it and half the time it's your own fault for not just telling the dumbass the answer or telling them long before he or she even asked the question

hwp123 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 7:46

That's homeschooled right there

ajbaby311 5

Sunday 31 July 2011 8:14

that's mean :(

fashionbug9880 22

Sunday 31 July 2011 8:16

And the best parent of the year award goes to!..... *drum-roll*....... not you. You're not making the situation any better by calling your daughter a dumbass. I feel sorry for her that she doesn't have a parent that supports her. You shouldn't be a parent if you call your own child rude things. Shame on you.

bevp14 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 8:28

wow plain pathetic lol whos the dumbass now shame on u dont curse ur kid what kind of parent r u nd fyi he/she was probably screwing with u

TeeKid 1

Sunday 31 July 2011 10:31

Wow, the love parents have for their kids these days is just the best! Geez SERIOUSLY! Who sits here and says stuff like this about THEIR OWN kids? Pisses me off more because I just heard my dad some some stupid crap like this earlier just because he was upset about something at the time. Way to show how much you love the kid who CAME FROM YOU! >:(

bigassfish97 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 16:28

You sound like an ass

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