Miscellaneous: Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or...

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By Noname - 03/02/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 743

You deserved it 7 809

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 15:36 - United States - Mckinney

Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 959

You deserved it 1 977

By daycare worker - 23/12/2016 18:41 - United States - Houston

Today, I told my 4-year-old daughter that when she grew up she could work at a daycare, like me, to help all of the little kids like her. She started crying because she thought it was a bad job to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 775

You deserved it 1 755

By myheart75 - 07/08/2011 09:52 - Australia

Today, my niece told me to go and find my own friends. She's 2, and I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 533

You deserved it 5 881

By squishy - 11/02/2010 00:07 - United States

Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 477

You deserved it 25 616

Bad guy

By Anonymous - 02/11/2024 03:00 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my 4 year-old niece, who rudely but cutely asked me why my nose is so big. Trying to make light of it, I told her, "It's because I lie a lot, just like Pinocchio." Now she won’t stop asking who I lied to and told my sister and her husband that I’m a "bad guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 499

Goals!

By faitesdesgosses - 19/05/2014 14:27 - France - Mantes-la-ville

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like to have when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 200

You deserved it 7 134

By notsoonenufdeparted - 02/10/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 289

You deserved it 4 817

By noiguessitsbroken :( - 07/08/2013 12:24 - Lithuania - Kaunas

Today, I asked my mum why she never had any children after me. She scoffed and asked if I've looked in a mirror lately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 722

You deserved it 4 838

By lyss - 16/11/2018 10:30 - United States - New Prague

Today, my 4-year-old daughter asked me when I was going to be skinny like her daycare lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 584

You deserved it 381

By Fatlady43 - 19/01/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 292

You deserved it 6 525

Renesaga 8

Sunday 19 September 2010 1:21

Did YOUR niece ask you why you can't spell "grammar"?

AliSama 17

Monday 23 February 2009 3:16

tell her because your going to marry rich!

Comments

dav3800 7

Thursday 7 April 2011 2:45

Spank her.

SarafinaBella 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 5:18

Wtf #20...

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Monday 18 July 2011 19:18

You have no jobwife cuz aliens dude

moorerb 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 16:48

I'm guessing you had a messed up childhood? Or you are just retarded.

attaboy368 20

Wednesday 28 December 2011 17:33

Well? Answer the question~~

BlondeBubbles 6

Sunday 25 March 2012 20:40

Probably because of that **** Carlos Mencia. Don't ask me how, I'm just sure it's all his fault.

chelsinator 8

Monday 16 July 2012 5:34

Why would you announce that to the world in the first place?

Sneekert 4

Friday 21 September 2012 15:38

Maybe because I'm an asshole and karma's a blind bitch and hit you instead? ****, I dunno.

thatpurpleone 12

Monday 5 August 2013 12:33

Out of the mouths of babes, isn't it

UNLUCKYyY1037 26

Sunday 3 August 2014 21:21

What are you gonna say?!?

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Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend at her request, because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received four calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 463

You deserved it 5 255

Today, some bloke pushed me to the floor and kicked me twice in the head so he could steal, no joke, the two Greggs pasties I just bought. He wasn’t homeless either, he had designer jeans and a giant iPhone, and he did it in broad daylight with witnesses. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 88

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 5 595

You deserved it 576

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 919

You deserved it 6 150

Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 753

You deserved it 5 130

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I agree, your life sucks 29 686

You deserved it 3 653

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I agree, your life sucks 37 557

You deserved it 1 983

Today, my wife told me the only reason she doesn’t want kids is because she requires privacy to poop. That’s it. That’s the dealbreaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 290

Same thing different taste

Bad guy

Goals!

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