Kids: Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake...

By badmom101 - 16/05/2009 11:26 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 692

You deserved it 6 400

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Same thing different taste

By B - 18/04/2011 08:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 643

You deserved it 58 263

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 822

You deserved it 7 808

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By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 963

You deserved it 252 005

By nyu - 25/01/2010 06:33 - United States

Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 120

You deserved it 24 472

Headshot!

By almyric - 02/10/2019 12:02

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 287

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 565

You deserved it 3 444

By Anonymous - 18/03/2011 09:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 156

You deserved it 4 173

By cheerymama - 23/01/2012 00:49 - United States

Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 951

You deserved it 26 152

By peepeepants - 18/08/2009 12:35 - Canada

Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 598

You deserved it 17 435

By Nerrh - 12/03/2011 10:53 - Australia

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 238

You deserved it 33 658

DarrenJonBanks 0

Monday 8 February 2010 8:48

That'd be quite hard, seen as it's a woman.

australiaaaa 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 16:35

guys, it's not the dad. the OP's name is badMOM101 lol but seriously, OP, make sure you explain that to the school if she bruises

Comments

love4all4 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 17:05

You suck

aidakeren 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 17:42

I thought it read that she was "licking my toes," which makes it all much more entertaining. Oh, well.

killrranged 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 14:24

That's more like a FHL.

bigbadnews122 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 5:47

HAHAHAHA!!! F your baby's life. Poor thing!

creamskate 0

Monday 8 June 2009 1:13

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! THATS GOTTA HURT

amazingkate 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 1:38

you ever see the youtube of the little girl getting kicked in the head by the breakdancer?

PeacockSHS 0

Friday 19 June 2009 7:55

hahaha, that video is amazing. and so is the FML. poor kid..

louie111887 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 16:07

awww this is terrible because your daughter kinda di but she doesn't quite know any better.

highsheep 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 4:23

YDI for not killing your daughter.

estebanxcool 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 9:00

you must gave really ticklish feet. poor kid

BenignSociopath 10

Tuesday 2 November 2010 13:49

LOVESHOT!!!

Insane_Tea 15

Saturday 19 February 2011 5:57

FACESHOT!!!

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Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 579

You deserved it 44 862

Today, my boyfriend told me that I'm "almost" his perfect woman, and that if I wanted to be the perfect woman, I needed to start eating his ass. Yeah, no. See you never. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 136

The Top

Today, I walked into a door on my way in to an interview, in front of the interviewer and a group of people waiting to be interviewed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 636

You deserved it 3 417

Today, ever since my boyfriend has seen A Clockwork Orange, he always suggests that we have sex by asking, "How about a little of the good old in-out-in-out?" and refers to his genitals as, "Yarbles". He seriously doesn't understand why this turns me off every time and our sex life has sunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 249

You deserved it 762

Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 337

You deserved it 11 510

Today, I got stuck in a group project with three other people who spent the whole period trying to figure out how old the teacher was. Good news: They came to the conclusion that he must be around 35-40 years old. Bad news: we are gonna have a hard time finishing this project if they don't pull their weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 98

Today, a drunk driver crashed in through my living room wall. Not only that, but he managed to completely miss the first two houses on the block, which should have been a barrier before mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 150

You deserved it 3 244

Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 086

You deserved it 23 537

Same thing different taste

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