Sex, Frustration and Intimacy: Cover up

Cover up

By this_is_fucked - 24/10/2009 21:23 - Zimbabwe

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 493

You deserved it 2 917

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Same thing different taste

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 311

You deserved it 840

Not now, mom!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2020 18:02 - United States - Gillette

Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 198

By yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 711

You deserved it 2 360

Gratitude walks

By Anonymous - 06/02/2021 16:01 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, my sister slept with my boyfriend while I was at work providing for the both of them as well as our child. I let her move in after our mother kicked her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 662

You deserved it 174

Horndog

By Anonymous - 25/04/2021 08:01

Today, despite giving my sister a place to stay while she's in town for a funeral, she demanded I give a bedroom to her son to have to himself, because, "How am I supposed to have 'sexy time' with my husband with him in the room?" Everyone's sharing rooms, and no one's getting sexy time as someone literally died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 111

By Venus - 26/04/2019 20:00

Today, despite the fact that I live with my parents and pay rent, my mom decided the best spot for my brother, his wife and one-year-old son was my bedroom. So I'm sleeping on the couch, because it would, "take too long to clean her room." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 127

You deserved it 270

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 772

You deserved it 4 725

By nomorecleaning - 16/03/2013 12:17 - United States - Augusta

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 164

You deserved it 4 039

By Thanksalot - 30/11/2013 05:58 - United States - Edinburg

Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 550

You deserved it 4 161

Beggars can't be choosers

By I'm grown, damnit! - 21/06/2023 18:00

Today, my mom won't let me have the extra hotel room she booked all to myself, even though it's just me, her, and my sister. Basically I can share a room with her or with my sister, but I can't be alone. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 448

lahp 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 3:24

lol ... hey get laid then... there are tons of geeks on this website alone tht are desperate to get laid .. just read above :D

Bloodknight 22

Sunday 25 October 2009 2:35

Haha wow your mom is awesome!

Comments

TAST3MYRAINB00Wx 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 1:37

FIRST YDI for not trying to get anyy

fakepolice 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 1:44

well I don't think Mrs. Jergens will ever turn you away...

aghoogha 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 2:02

this is exactly why you should get yourself a dog or a horse.

Simone88 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 2:11

wow...maybe u should start lookin for someone.

benisajosher 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 2:05

You suck.

EwahWeeWah 21

Friday 20 May 2016 1:18

No, if she did then she wouldn't have this problem :)

Bloodknight 22

Sunday 25 October 2009 2:35

Haha wow your mom is awesome!

lahp 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 3:24

lol ... hey get laid then... there are tons of geeks on this website alone tht are desperate to get laid .. just read above :D

mikes45 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 5:04

wow....lmfao

JassyJas 2

Sunday 25 October 2009 5:08

wow......

DynamicDave 11

Sunday 25 October 2009 5:37

Wait...how would you making it look like your mom had slept in her bed keep her from doing the walk of shame?

DaPolack1984 0

Friday 29 April 2011 21:12

ya didn't get that either.

mooshibear140 4

Thursday 23 June 2011 16:23

Yeah I don't get it. If she got some and people found out then she wouldn't be ashamed, would she?

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Neighbours Wanker Halloween Lonely Party Jealousy Love Argument Fight Family Animals Cats Parents Sports Health Embarrassing Shopping Medication Anger issues Birds Weddings Pranks YouTube TikTok Dogs Cute Work AITA

The Top

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 2 216

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 069

You deserved it 6 947

The Top

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for three hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 227

You deserved it 5 519

Today, I bought some shoes, but pissed off the lady working at the store by returning them 5 minutes later. She yelled at me and ripped my receipt in half, everyone in the store watched as she threw a handful of pennies at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 001

You deserved it 625

Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 490

You deserved it 2 469

Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she said 'buried'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 271

You deserved it 9 077

Today, in my years of experience with skin problems, I've had boils appear in the most horrible spots you can imagine. Still, nothing compares to having like 4 or 5 in roughly the same area, especially if that area is somewhere hard to reach. Somewhere like the back of your neck. Welcome to my hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 59

Today, I found out that my husband really thinks onion rings are seafood. He's 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 584

You deserved it 2 528