Love: Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard....

By FractalSanity - 01/02/2009 08:11 - Canada

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 623

You deserved it 11 480

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Same thing different taste

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 277

You deserved it 3 002

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 103

You deserved it 3 325

By Maria - 14/03/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 663

You deserved it 403

By Inconnu - 18/06/2011 05:13 - France

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 583

You deserved it 3 860

By jojobobo - 02/12/2017 19:00

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. I started to tear up and told her I had something stuck in my eye. I was secretly thrilled as I had been trying to end it for weeks. Seeing me cry, she immediately took it back. I really just had something stuck in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 918

You deserved it 2 249

Double standard

By Sara1990 - 23/08/2010 11:40 - Australia

Today, I went on a double date with my bestfriend. At the end of the night, her boyfriend gave her a long kiss, and texted her 5 minutes after we left to say he missed her already. My boyfriend picked his nose, then gave me a fist bump as a goodbye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 362

You deserved it 7 011

By unattractive - 18/12/2010 09:32 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 537

You deserved it 6 364

By Nerrh - 12/03/2011 10:53 - Australia

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 234

You deserved it 33 648

By Anon - 12/01/2012 19:24 - United States

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 473

You deserved it 5 357

By Titi14 - 04/03/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 555

You deserved it 25 965

Blank_fml 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 0:38

lol You can pick your friends You can pick your nose But you can't (or atleast should not) pick your friend's nose!

Rayn4u_fml 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 14:35

Now she won't think her boyfriend's that bad anymore. You're done.

Comments

shlits 1

Sunday 4 September 2011 7:58

#58 u mad bro?

Bladian 5

Friday 7 October 2011 6:39

It has entered into common usage as such a synonym. I agree it shouldn't be, but at this point it really is, proper or not.

iPeterPan 8

Monday 19 December 2011 17:17

He's an actual retard?

amhort 4

Thursday 22 December 2011 5:01

I don't get how FMLs like this manage to get posted

WhatsUrNumber 0

Thursday 12 April 2012 7:12

If she doesn't like him then she should just break up with him.........

IndieApathy 21

Sunday 13 May 2012 1:23

I laughed at this one. Well done!

what_ever2007 11

Thursday 14 June 2012 22:31

lol I can so see this happening to my best friend and I!!!! LOL

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Wednesday 25 June 2014 1:17

The word retard means "not working properly." I call my friends retarded all the time, but when it comes to those who are actually mentally challenged, I am very respectful and, obviously, don't call them retarded. I don't think of mentally handicapped as being the same as being an idiot. Everyone should stop being so damn PC and realize that not everything is meant offensively, nor should it be taken that way.