By EosThorn - 02/10/2014 01:33 - Sweden - V?xj?
I agree, your life sucks
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EosThorn tells us more.
OP here. I don't know if I'm doing this correctly, but here goes. Thank you for the encouraging comments, even the harsh ones. I'm aware of how ridiculous this sounds... Trust me. I have two good female friends who I'm sure are tired of me harping away on this. It hasn't been years of me staring at him through foggy windows, all sad. I've dated other people and so has he. It wasn't easy because truly, I love him. Circumstances just didn't allow for us to be together... Whether he wanted to or not. So, I chose to keep his friendship and not risk it. We are adults now and things have changed. It's perfect, but I feel like so much time has passed that he no longer sees me as a girl he'd want to be with now that its possible. We have a special bond and as much as it devastates me to think he would reject me, it would kill me to see everything we have just turn into something ugly.
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Put on something sexy when you meet him, it works everytime. Because intellectual conversation is good but miniskirts and large decolletés are better.
I strongly disagree with you. If you can have an intellectual conversation, a man will feel like he's on the same level as you. After you have an intellectual conversation, you can still be sexy. Just have more to offer a companion than a miniskirt and you have a better chance for something long term.
If they've been best friends for 10 years, he already knows about her intellectual capacity. So I vote for the sexy outfit. And TELL HIM. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if all this dating site and conversation stuff is HIS way of hinting.
Tell him how you feel. And don't be vague. You've been like this for ten years and clearly something is not working. Have a go! Good luck!
To quote Castle: What you have isn't a friendship - it's a holding pattern. Tell him, and at least you'll have a shot at being happy. Don't tell him, and you're sure to get hurt when you watch him find someone else who DOES speak up and make her intentions clear. Even if it doesn't work out, consider it a good thing; after a decade of holding out hope for something that (hypothetically) didn't work anyway, you'll be able to move on, look around, and find one of the other people around you who will cherish you the way you need. The way you are now, I'm betting a lot of opportunities with great, compatible guys have passed you by without you even realizing. So speak up! And good luck :)
I love that you quoted castle. Perfect!
Button up kitten, we're going home!
Well here's a crazy idea, tell him. Don't flirt, or any other vague, passive-aggressive nonsense like that. Just tell him in plain, unambiguous English. If you're unwilling to do that, you've absolutely no business complaining about him not noticing you.
Or in plain, unambiguous Swedish!
A decade!? You have had feelings for him and haven't done anything? I get you may not want to hurt your friendship but the longer you go without either expressing how you feel or forget about it, its gonna get weird. I'm sure he's picked up on it by now.
The fact that he has probably picked up on it is why I feel like maybe she shouldn't say anything. I find it hard to believe that he has liked her as well for the past 10 years but never made a move. However it's better to say something and get an answer than looking back and always wondering "what if."
Tell him how you feel, for God's sake! You can't complain if you've not bothered saying anything. You're not in a movie!
Woman up and tell him how you feel!
This is ridiculous. If you want to go out with him, ******* ask.
You want to know why he said that? Because you're best friends. He doesn't see you as someone to date. He sees you as a best friend.
Goblin182
26
If you were looking for the right time to tell him how you felt about him, that was it.
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Make your own profile and get his attention, OP!
These guys are saying to make your own profile, which is cute and all, but what if he finds someone else's before yours? No, the best option is to be upfront and talk to him about your feelings.