Work: Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

By grant b - 09/06/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 405

You deserved it 6 092

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/07/2012 05:29 - United States - Dallas

Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 014

You deserved it 9 874

By HelpMe1 - 06/11/2014 06:53 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 248

You deserved it 2 951

By corey - 28/02/2012 03:41 - United States

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 260

You deserved it 2 335

Seize the means of production

By vikts - 29/05/2012 17:52 - Luxembourg - Olm

Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 343

You deserved it 1 955

Sure, come on in…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - La Mesa

Today, while working third shift alone at a gas station, I had to deal with a crazy guy tripping balls and asking me if it was okay to bring a gun into the place. I don't get paid nearly enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 662

You deserved it 1 657

By Sudokori - 07/09/2017 01:30

Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 254

You deserved it 268

Tonight, on Asshole Bosses…

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 22:00

Today, I went to pick up my last paycheck, since I was fired last week. My boss said he wasn't going to give it to me. I told him it's illegal not to, and he told me with a shit-eating grin, "What are you gonna do? Arrest me?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 028

You deserved it 135

Lay the blame

By jobless - 13/09/2015 14:07 - United States

Today, a guy came into my gas station, showed me the gun on his hip, and asked me to kindly empty the register. My asshole boss claimed afterwards that because we live in an open carry state, and because the guy didn't point the gun at me, that there was no actual robbery and I just gave him free money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 728

You deserved it 2 813

By Killmenow - 11/02/2009 14:08 - United Kingdom

Today, having just told me what a great job I've been doing and how he'd really like to start giving me some more responsibility, my boss asked me if I'd sharpen a couple of pencils for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 735

You deserved it 2 776

Know your place

By Anonymous - 06/12/2014 18:23 - United States

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 479

You deserved it 9 051

visiON123 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 12:05

Isn't that's how everyone is paid in Texas?

Valentina_Baby 7

Thursday 9 June 2011 12:08

And that's how you survive the zombie apocalypse

Comments

TalkinSmack 6

Thursday 9 June 2011 18:32

sWEET! I want a job there!! lol

weallfail 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 18:51

where do you work? i want a piece of that action!

jsergent 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 18:55

so why r u mad. guns are not cheap I'm sure more than ur check

Shiden 3

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:05

and you said no? take it and pull off a drive-by on his house

raytaybinks 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:20

you could always sell them.

Shawn2961 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:22

Take it..thats the best payment ever

tx_boy1991 1

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:22

Guns are expensive. I'd love to be paid in guns.

iranoutofnames 6

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:22

"Are you kidding? Of course you can!"

SlickRoach 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:22

How is this an FML? I'd love to be paid in guns lol

davek 36

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:24

YDI, you live in Texas.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Health Covid Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 644

You deserved it 5 885

The Top

Today, I decided to try a 7-minute exercise video to start working out and get in shape. I couldn’t make it though the video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 476

Today, I found my 6-year-old daughter recording herself on her little tape recorder. When I asked her what she was up to, she replied in her cute little voice, "I'm recording myself so you'll have a souvenir when I'm dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 45

Today, I went to visit my parents after 4 years of not seeing them. They'd moved without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 791

You deserved it 19 608

Today, my stepmother proved once again that she likes to play favourites. She has no job, so anything she gifts comes from my dad’s account. On my last birthday, I got £5 on a cheap card. Today, my step-brother's birthday, he got £400 and an iPad. He’s 4 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 500

You deserved it 240

Today, at my new fast food job, I was in charge of filtering the grease out of the fryers. I accidentally turned the wrong lever and flooded the kitchen with hot oil. It took over 3 hours to clean up, and my manager is furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 572

You deserved it 3 383

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 897

You deserved it 33 902

Same thing different taste

Seize the means of production

Sure, come on in…

Tonight, on Asshole Bosses…

Lay the blame

Know your place

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