Awkward and Love: Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the...

By Whoops - 28/01/2010 20:21 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 466

You deserved it 36 479

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Same thing different taste

By Em - 15/10/2009 06:12 - France

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 328

You deserved it 3 633

By suzanneallen - 11/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 127

You deserved it 40 965

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 204

You deserved it 3 115

By Anonymous - 05/04/2009 09:43 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161 913

You deserved it 16 404

By Anonymous - 03/08/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 101

You deserved it 42 159

By anyoi - 25/04/2012 22:43 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 320

You deserved it 3 438

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 738

You deserved it 32 283

By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 23:52 - United States

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 155

You deserved it 3 442

The nerve of some people

By Inga44 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 155

You deserved it 3 779

Go to drunk, you're sleep

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 16:00 - New Zealand - Nelson

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend, who was half asleep at 3 am, saying he was yelling my name because he needed toilet paper. We don’t even live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 122

killabee 0

Friday 29 January 2010 1:15

A voice coming from his pants? "OMG! That thing talks?!?! ...oh it's just my dad."

BadPinkKitty07 0

Friday 29 January 2010 1:05

amazing... simply amazing. imma say YDI.

Comments

uunnkknnoowwnn 0

Friday 29 January 2010 1:26

Looks like there's no ball for you, Cinderella.

sterl13 0

Friday 29 January 2010 1:27

haha voice in my pants, lol

allyj 0

Friday 29 January 2010 1:37

YDI for staying out late just to make out.

X_SaintXJimmy_X 0

Friday 29 January 2010 1:37

lol it wasn't mid night but thats happen to me too. I feel your pain!

xanniefiend420 0

Friday 29 January 2010 1:50

oh... that blows... and I think what she meant was she snuck out to be with him.

murphythadog 0

Friday 29 January 2010 1:56

it would be more interesting if your dad picked up and you guys were talking all nasty

911lovesme 0

Friday 29 January 2010 2:15

Take the phone out of his pocket next time

DogmaT_fml 4

Friday 29 January 2010 2:20

**** block

DogmaT_fml 4

Friday 29 January 2010 2:22

ant123 0

Friday 29 January 2010 2:23

I almost had the same thing happen to me. but lucky I call my friend insted

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 866

You deserved it 5 424

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 781

You deserved it 5 987

The Top

Today, I downloaded Hinge for the first time, only to have the first guy I match with to tell me, "I can’t wait to breed you and to knock you up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 474

You deserved it 276

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 258

You deserved it 36 384

Today, I was running a marathon for my school. Two hot girls started talking to me, so I glanced at them, and smiled. I turned back, just in time to knee a little boy in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 132

You deserved it 7 802

Today, I fought with my sister. We're both adults, but I cussed her out and called her an idiot or something, and a bitch. I’m trying my best to get therapy for this shit. I have found nothing that helps me quit acting this way. I grew up with it in my parents' behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 438

Today, the highlight of my day was learning how to drain my dog's anal glands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 520

You deserved it 4 627

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 507

You deserved it 23 298

Same thing different taste

The nerve of some people

Go to drunk, you're sleep

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