Awkward and Love: Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the...

By Whoops - 28/01/2010 20:21 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 466

You deserved it 36 479

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Same thing different taste

By Em - 15/10/2009 06:12 - France

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 328

You deserved it 3 633

By suzanneallen - 11/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 127

You deserved it 40 965

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 204

You deserved it 3 115

By Anonymous - 05/04/2009 09:43 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161 913

You deserved it 16 404

By Anonymous - 03/08/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 101

You deserved it 42 159

By anyoi - 25/04/2012 22:43 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 320

You deserved it 3 438

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 738

You deserved it 32 283

By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 23:52 - United States

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 155

You deserved it 3 442

The nerve of some people

By Inga44 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 155

You deserved it 3 779

Go to drunk, you're sleep

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 16:00 - New Zealand - Nelson

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend, who was half asleep at 3 am, saying he was yelling my name because he needed toilet paper. We don’t even live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 122

killabee 0

Friday 29 January 2010 1:15

A voice coming from his pants? "OMG! That thing talks?!?! ...oh it's just my dad."

BadPinkKitty07 0

Friday 29 January 2010 1:05

amazing... simply amazing. imma say YDI.

Comments

lilbyrd43 0

Friday 29 January 2010 2:27

at least you didn't talk back to "the voice in his pants"

myfriend_youfail 3

Friday 29 January 2010 2:41

So...you say "F my life" when it was your choice to be out later than you were allowed, just so you could play tonsil hockey in your boyfriend's car? And you're young enough that you get worried about being caught? My guess is that you're yet another overly-hormonal fourteen-year-old. [sarcasm] Real classy. [/sarcasm] YDI.

Baal952 0

Friday 29 January 2010 3:12

Tonsil Hockey...Tonsil Hockey...Either your tonuge would have to be like Gene Simmons or you have no idea where your tonsils are.

myfriend_youfail 3

Friday 29 January 2010 3:26

It's a turn of phrase. It refers to jamming one's tongue down another's throat in a gross, inexperienced parody of open-mouthed kissing.

Baal952 0

Friday 29 January 2010 3:37

Couldnt you say deepthroating of the mouth...or the guys face if that way

myfriend_youfail 3

Friday 29 January 2010 3:43

Because...."tonsil hockey" is acceptable slang where I live.... O_o

xxdannychaosxx 0

Friday 29 January 2010 4:46

tonsil hockey is an old and widely used phrase.

Malinkrot 3

Friday 29 January 2010 7:40

please god, don't ever let me become the type of person that only gets pleasure from insulting 14 year olds on the internet (in between eating cat food and riding around Walmart on a scooter).

myfriend_youfail 3

Friday 29 January 2010 17:15

Haha it's not the ONLY thing that gives me pleasure, honey. Your mother is also pretty talented at supplying that. ;)

YeahFMLxX 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 5:48

(pats Malinkrot on the head) awe he called you honey! look at you!

deepdiver999 0

Friday 29 January 2010 2:51

ugh what the **** I've pocket dialed people before but that's just terrible timing

tdawgheath 0

Friday 29 January 2010 2:56

"Make out session". Kids have the most ****** up lingo ever. It reminds me of that Chappelle show episode though, where the lady's reading back what the babysitter said. "Shut up you little brats, my boyfriend is coming over now. We gonna have us a sex session." In fact. come to think of it, the fact that you got caught is like the exact same thing. Hilarious! Deserved.

eelreve_9393 0

Friday 29 January 2010 3:08

wow .. some of you people are literaly too messed up. you try so hard to sound mature, by criticizing this girl and tell her all this stuff, when the truth is.. you probably are out there douing the same thing. get over your arrogant ass and leave her alone geeez.. leave the poor girl alone, she's prob already in trouble.

myfriend_youfail 3

Friday 29 January 2010 3:29

Not all of us broke curfew to suck face in the back of a car when we were younger. I know I sure didn't! Just because you do it, doesn't mean everyone does it. :)

tahliho 0

Friday 29 January 2010 6:00

thts cos ur probs to ugly to be sucking face with anyone

myfriend_youfail 3

Friday 29 January 2010 17:17

Oh yes, you can tell I'm ugly from my profile picture, right? I'm gonna go cry now because some little ****-rag nobody on the Internet insulted me! MOMMYYYYY!