Intimacy and Kids: Today, my boyfriend bought me a vibrator for my birthday. Sounds...

By Ohgodhelpme - 25/10/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend bought me a vibrator for my birthday. Sounds sweet, right? Then he invited my 10/14-year-old cousins to our house. They surprised me in my room. While I was using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 547

You deserved it 776

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Same thing different taste

By AMIGODO - 12/02/2011 15:13 - Netherlands

Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 863

You deserved it 5 119

By mylifesucks - 18/04/2009 07:20 - Netherlands

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 376

You deserved it 7 035

By crazygirl - 29/10/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 525

You deserved it 5 182

By Brittany - 10/04/2009 20:07 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 102

You deserved it 49 940

By TeeJay - 01/06/2009 14:06 - United States

Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 473

You deserved it 7 480

Shopping fun

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 22:59

Today, my boyfriend talked me into wearing vibrating underwear in public and of course we bumped into my mom shopping, and of course he chose that moment to turn them on with the remote. The vibrating was way louder than we were expecting, and my mom just walked away shaking her head at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 2 553

By Ouch - 21/01/2012 00:29 - United States

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 834

You deserved it 9 356

By reallyman__639 - 13/12/2011 12:26 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 560

You deserved it 17 505

Caught in 4K

By Oops - 03/01/2016 19:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. I wanted to tease him, so I got his attention and made my orgasm face when I thought no one was looking. His thirteen year-old cousin saw and now bursts out laughing whenever he sees me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 296

You deserved it 19 580

By Ribbed for Her Disaster - 04/04/2013 16:04 - United Kingdom - Orpington

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 442

You deserved it 19 457

Alup132 22

Thursday 25 October 2018 3:03

What a buzzkill!

pinilicious 19

Thursday 25 October 2018 3:17

The good vibes were killed.

Comments

Alup132 22

Thursday 25 October 2018 3:03

What a buzzkill!

BEEEEES 15

Thursday 25 October 2018 21:39

Wonderful

pinilicious 19

Thursday 25 October 2018 3:17

The good vibes were killed.

a1f0sff 25

Thursday 25 October 2018 3:22

You couldn't wait until you went to bed?

julfunky 29

Thursday 25 October 2018 21:47

... why should she wait until she goes to bed?

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 25 October 2018 3:23

10/14 years old? What an odd way to express infant’s ages!

pscool 11

Thursday 25 October 2018 3:59

FYI he was probably planning on getting to use it with you for the first go around later on. But I guess it was too enticing to wait!

Dave_Davington 33

Thursday 25 October 2018 4:27

What better time to teach them all about the joys of mechanically assisted self diddling?

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 25 October 2018 4:56

Why those cousins specifically? Are you close to them than you are to others? Because that's now been ruined.

JulietMarie 30

Thursday 25 October 2018 15:22

Why wasn’t your door locked? At least then they wouldn’t have caught you in the act

raven_of_azarath 34

Thursday 25 October 2018 20:24

Why should you have to lock the door in your own house?

julfunky 29

Thursday 25 October 2018 19:20

Let me guess, then Father O’Flannagan walked in?

EmDizzle2007 28

Thursday 25 October 2018 21:57

the ungodly amount of desperate pun comments...

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Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

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Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

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You deserved it 5 481

Today, I heard on television that a body was found in my city's water reservoir. Word is that it was dead for over a week. I've been drinking and showering with that water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 496

You deserved it 2 803

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 204

You deserved it 5 174

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 985

You deserved it 15 728

Today, my husband took our 5-month-old to the doctor, who diagnosed him with a severe sinus blockage and referred us to a specialist. This is the third major health problem with our son that our husband has picked up before I did. My job? I’m a nurse in a paediatric clinic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 737

Today, I learned that the windows in my flat will be removed and then replaced with new ones. This would be very good, if it wasn't for the ongoing removal of the asbestos insulation in the very same flat. I guess the administration will pay less for scaffolding this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 141

Same thing different taste

Shopping fun

Caught in 4K

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