Health: Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which...

By shitty situation - 28/01/2013 23:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 000

You deserved it 2 994

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Oversharing is caring

By Lauren - 12/10/2011 17:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 465

You deserved it 2 866

By lovecrisis247 - 19/12/2010 07:46 - United States

Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 124

You deserved it 25 502

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 970

You deserved it 7 926

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 640

You deserved it 6 665

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 295

You deserved it 7 527

By clashgurl8449 - 17/02/2011 08:08

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 431

You deserved it 4 269

Ingredients check

By Anonymous - 22/06/2021 18:00

Today, my boyfriend told me the sauce he made for our dinner that was meat-based, trying to show me how nice meat is and stop me being a weirdo vegan. The reason I’m vegan is because my digestive system can’t handle animal protein. I’m writing this from the bathroom, vomiting myself to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 400

You deserved it 177

By Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 973

You deserved it 4 105

By poopcoloredeyes - 31/10/2011 20:06 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 209

You deserved it 3 692

By HK - 16/05/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Haywards Heath

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 014

You deserved it 3 824

Harshdfml 14

Tuesday 29 January 2013 8:56

Next time you go to his mother's, tell her how much you love to make kale chips.

swampbaby985 30

Tuesday 29 January 2013 8:55

Why would he even feel the need to share that?

Comments

BlackPhenom 9

Tuesday 29 January 2013 21:50

Hey, you gotta break the ice somehow.

iamnikkinicole 3

Tuesday 29 January 2013 22:53

Haha. Hilarious

MrsAlexander83 10

Wednesday 30 January 2013 3:20

I could see this topic being talked about if your mom was serving kale chips at this brunch. So...we're y'all eat kale chips? :)

Szaszaspasz 26

Saturday 9 February 2013 22:15

He's comfortable with the family and he doesn't have any possible mother-in-law issues.

roadie42 21

Sunday 11 August 2013 17:05

I was almost about to go buy a bag and try them too...guess I should rethink that plan, huh.

ashleyylove3 22

Friday 1 November 2013 16:06

Well hey at least he feels comfortable around your family

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 4 364

Well. I must admit when I first received today's illustration, seeing the massive pliers pop out kind of freaked me out. Then I reached the last panel and I'm not sure if it's out of anxiety relief or what, but I laughed so hard I might have choked a...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

The Top

Today, I was looking at my boyfriend's rarely-used Facebook page as he was next to me. Last time he was online over a year ago, he had something up that said, "Still looking for that perfect girl." I jokingly said he should update it. He responded, "Why? It's still true." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 350

Today, my friend went on a lengthy rant about how people are "healthy at any size" and I need to embrace fat pride, after I said I intend to lose weight to alleviate my digestive and breathing troubles. Apparently her activist forum knows more about my health than my own doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 115

Today, I dressed up as a ghost and walked down the street to meet my friends. A dog somehow got loose and decided my "flowy" costume was the perfect chew toy. I spent the evening dodging an overly enthusiastic dog and getting barked at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 92

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 975

You deserved it 2 910

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe… with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 707

You deserved it 3 653

Today, I was excited about being set up on a blind date by one of my new co-workers. It turns out the guy she thought would be a "totally perfect match" for me is the ex who cheated on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 696

You deserved it 3 564

Same thing different taste

Oversharing is caring

Smells like teen shit

Ingredients check

Top comments

Comments