Love: Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's...

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 09:58 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's probably been there for months. He looked at it and said, "Well, that explains a lot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 717

You deserved it 4 700

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Same thing different taste

That's so lovely!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 400

You deserved it 4 033

By eeelise5296 - 01/03/2012 20:39 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture. In the mirror I could see a bra and thong sitting on his bed. They weren't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 428

You deserved it 3 207

Get out of there, fast

By LeaveMeAlone - 23/02/2021 22:56

Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 131

By anyoi - 25/04/2012 22:43 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 320

You deserved it 3 438

By Moeswifey - 24/10/2010 17:11 - United States

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 440

You deserved it 4 559

Memento

By you can't remember? - 24/04/2023 12:00

Today, I found a notebook labeled "IMPORTANT INFO" in my boyfriend's nightstand. Looking in, I saw he'd written down a bunch of information about me, like my birthday and things I like. When I asked, he said, "I'm forgetful and didn't want to accidentally be a dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 1 715

By Michelle - 04/08/2009 17:31 - United States

Today, I turned on my boyfriend's computer and saw pictures of all of my credit cards, front and back, and several of my parent's credit cards. I looked in his e-mail and found receipts for items which had been billed to me and delivered to him, including golf clubs and my birthday gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 088

You deserved it 6 481

By thenewgirl - 06/10/2014 23:05 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 093

You deserved it 3 895

By unloved - 17/04/2012 14:54 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 739

You deserved it 2 749

The apple of my eye

By anonymous - 17/07/2020 08:00

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 360

You deserved it 340

ThePsyche 9

Thursday 25 October 2012 19:00

You should put a carton of penis enlargement pills under his bed and when you "find them" look him in the eye and say, "well that explains a lot".

SortOfSexy 4

Thursday 25 October 2012 18:57

Your boyfriend sounds like a dick.

Comments

jvercetti 5

Saturday 27 October 2012 4:05

You people take this stuff wayy to seriously.. At the end of the day.. Go ahead, thumb me down, I won't see it on my BB anyway, nor will I be back to check. Get along people, stop trying to be the "most perfect" one on fml.

bepatientimadoc 6

Saturday 27 October 2012 20:41

Am I the only one thinking that it also explains how long its been since she cleaned under the bed? ahhahahahahahahah Indeed, jumping to conclusions, maybe he didnt´mean it the way it sounden. More than half of the time the things ppl say are misinterpretated by the ppl who hear them. Make sure you know what someone means before getting angry, then if there is reason to I quote: Don´t get angry, get EVEN whuahahahahah

brownie407 2

Saturday 27 October 2012 21:51

You broke up with him...right?

penguinazul 13

Sunday 28 October 2012 2:54

I love how everyone automatically assumes that OP is fat or that bf is implying that she is. There is nothing here that suggests he's implying that. She might be messy; how are we to know unless she elaborates more?