By kukumber - 16/09/2015 02:11 - United States
I agree, your life sucks
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You deserved it
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brocho tells us more.
brocho
26
Hi, this is OP! I can't believe this got posted! Anyway, he has always been a huge mama's boy and thinks that her way is the only way. She is a rather rude and opinionated woman, and has raised him to think that there is only one way to do things, and that's her way. I did talk to him and explain that I am not his mother and that I like myself just as I am and don't plan on changing, and he got pretty upset about it. We are now over, but it doesn't bother me much since this has been an ongoing issue for awhile now, and he just can't accept me for who I am. He was always trying to tell me that I should cut my long hair super short because his mom cut hers that way, and even asked me what I would do if I woke up with short hair, which concerned me. He also told me he and his mom didn't like my choice of clothing so that I should dress like she does, that I should wear my makeup like hers, and that my opinions, morals and values should be exactly the same as his mother's. It was just too much, and he got really upset when I told him no. He even suggested I quit college and my decent-paying job and get a job working with his mom for minimum wage and to draw welfare like her. He also always expected me to drive him everywhere, buy him everything he wanted, and baby him. I think I dodged a bullet, and I feel much better without all of the pressure to change.
Top comments
Comments
Maybe tell him to start dressing and acting like your dad? See how he likes it.
The beginning signs of an abusive relationship! Please don't stay with him.
TheEpicKitten
20
That sucks
cynthianicole95
9
You should probably dump him. That abounds awful and pretty controlling and toxic tbh.
Oh hell no. Run like mad my friend or put one mega ******* foot down.
*ex boyfriend
More info needed, how is he getting you to change that stuff? Is he asking you, suggesting? Sometimes you can interpret something in one way and he can mean it differently.
brocho
26
He asked at first, but got extremely, unusually upset when I wouldn't do it. He also wanted me to change everything, not just a few things.
Ah okay, I was hoping it was just a misunderstanding but doesn't sound like it. That really sucks - you shouldn't have to put up with that. Even if it wasn't about his mother - he shouldn't be asking you to change!! What a jerk thing to do!
brocho
26
Hi, this is OP! I can't believe this got posted! Anyway, he has always been a huge mama's boy and thinks that her way is the only way. She is a rather rude and opinionated woman, and has raised him to think that there is only one way to do things, and that's her way. I did talk to him and explain that I am not his mother and that I like myself just as I am and don't plan on changing, and he got pretty upset about it. We are now over, but it doesn't bother me much since this has been an ongoing issue for awhile now, and he just can't accept me for who I am. He was always trying to tell me that I should cut my long hair super short because his mom cut hers that way, and even asked me what I would do if I woke up with short hair, which concerned me. He also told me he and his mom didn't like my choice of clothing so that I should dress like she does, that I should wear my makeup like hers, and that my opinions, morals and values should be exactly the same as his mother's. It was just too much, and he got really upset when I told him no. He even suggested I quit college and my decent-paying job and get a job working with his mom for minimum wage and to draw welfare like her. He also always expected me to drive him everywhere, buy him everything he wanted, and baby him. I think I dodged a bullet, and I feel much better without all of the pressure to change.
Ugh! What were his good qualities? Seriously, what attracted you to him? I'm glad you got out, he and his mom can have each other.
FalloutScrolls
25
Heaven forbid you be your own self. That relationship sounded like it would do nothing but become more and more toxic with each passing day. You did well ending it. On a side note, I've seen a lot of people, men and women, fall prey to this kind of behavior in recent years. It's a product of "helicopter parenting" and as you've witnessed first hand now, unfortunately, it's messed up. And likely the start of abusive relationships. (hence the "what would you do if you woke up with short hair")
bad_boyfriend
10
It sounds like you are lucky he didn't stab you in your sleep screaming "I love you Mommy"
I'll admit I was a mama's boy when I was a kid, but I grew out of it after 1st grade. That doesn't sound normal that he's an adult and he still sees his mother like that, and it gets to a point where he wants you to be exactly like her. You're right, you did dodge a bullet.
brocho
26
50, he was completely different when we first started dating and was very sweet and treated me very well, but things gradually got worse until he decided he could control me.
jgiles09
17
Thank god u got out of there! don't ever go back he sounds like he would've had u in the boot of his car and into a lake with all his other girls his mum didn't like NORRMAN!
Dear God you dogged a major bullet OP. It's one thing having a close relationship with your mom but that guy needed to grow up!
Steve97
32
Glad you left while you could. Trust me there are waayyyy better guys out there who will like you for you. Fyl for having to put up with that mess!
Is it just me or does this sound vaguely like Bates Motel...
iShanny
13
Oedipus complex much? Glad you dodged that bullet OP!
I think you dodged a ******* cannonball.
thatonetribute
31
You go, girl!!! You did the exact right thing. Sounds like he doesn't deserve you at all.
Wow, talk about your Oedipus complex! Freud would have a field day with this!
Im glad you noticed what was going on. Some people can be super subtle when they're manipulating their partner, slowly escalating things until their insane behaviour feels completely normal and healthy. I hope your next dating endeavours go better!
That's called an abusive relationship. Good for you for getting out of it.
You are smart woman and you really did dodge the bullet! Whats the worst in this story - he actually wanted you to become less of a person than you are (good job to welfare? really?). Plus if you cut off long hair it doesn't always grow back as long.
wow OP, that sounds like something a guy in a sitcom would do to get his girlfriend to dump him. A bad sitcom. Are you sure it was genuine? That is some creepy shit :S
So why doesn't he just marry his mother? I understand Kentucky has a very liberal definition of marriage now. No, "liberal" in the original sense, not political.
Sandman2015
12
I am so sorry man. That dude sounds really, really disturbed. Glad you let that one off the line and I hope you find someone more stable.
Hopefully you taught him something that his mother forgot to, which is everyone is perfect in their own way?? Good for you for finally breaking free from that relationship OP✌?️
Wow, you seriously dodged a bullet! Good for you for not changing! He sounds crazy, and so does his mother. With an attitude like that, he'll never get a girl.
Good lord! That is way too much! And to give up a good job and go on welfare? Wtf! Glad you got out of that when you did, op!
Wait, wait, your ex boyfriend's mom is working for minimum wage, and is on welfare??
dragoongirl90
34
Omg OP you did dodge a bullet. I've been with guys just like this and it's so creepy. Upon discussing it with my own mother, she thinks maybe guys like this have possibly been molested by their mothers. Especially since the guys I have been with also said and their mothers said sexual things about them on occasion. Luckily my guy now isn't like that, but every single one of the assholes in the past were.
I've dated guys like that. It wouldn't have surprised me if I'd stumbled into the kitchen in the mornings during visits to their parents' and found them suckling at their mothers' teats. Good on you, OP, for knowing when to run like hell and let him claw his way back to Mommy via the still-intact umbilical cord!
He is definitely a psycho!
Jesus she sounds like the megabitch!
That's disturbing I pity the next girl who dates him
Actually 87, I'm from Kentucky and this state as well as many other southern states have very clear and restrictive laws against incest and consanguinamorous marriage. However, Rhode Island is very liberal and New Jersey has absolutely no laws regarding either subject on the books. Maybe this guy and his mother should move there and he should just start dating her. It sounds like that's what he wants.
BloodyGlass
10
He had some serious mommy issues, and she had some serious baby issues. They both needed help, and glad to hear you didn't suffer from a very toxic and abusive relationship. :D
Good job OP, I'm glad you got rid of him. He's going to need to grow up and realize that his girlfriend and his mother are two separate people who do what they want to do, and are not willing to do what someone else tells them to do. I hope you meet someone that is ok with you being yourself. Have a nice day OP, and enjoy your lifestyle!
What the hell is wrong with people? Did he have a job at least, or was he a big moocher?
That wasn't a bullet you dodged, that was an Abrams tank's super sabot round!
Him and his mom should just f*ck and get it over with
glad you left him you deserve better
That's a little.... Creepy. Glad you got out, OP!
Umm... Kentucky has morals. Dumbass.
elizacandle
29
omg, yes! you totally dodged a bullet there. that's borderline abusive and weird. he needs to go to therapy. good thing you didn't fall into that!
my boyfriend is a momma's boy too, but not that bad! he just comes from a very close family
Good for you for having a strong sense of self! You should be very proud of yourself for knowing your value and not accepting abusive behavior. Keep doing you!
I'm glad you got out while you still could! If he started comparing your kissing style to his momma's, then it would have been therapy time for sure. ??
My most recent ex boyfriend was like this. He was nice and sweet at first, and then after a year he started trying to get me to keep my hair long because his mum thought I suited it better that way, he started being mildly physically abusive when I didn't see things his way, and even got his mum and brothers involved when I wouldn't do things his way and tried compromising. It sounds like you really did dodge a bullet, as your relationship sounds like how mine was 6 months ago. In the last six months he got really abusive and controlling because I wasn't like his mother or brothers. Good on you for getting out early, I had to move out to get away from the relationship.
#107 If this weirdo had been molested by his mother, that wouldn't surprise me at all. I've heard of people being in relationships with those that remind them of a parental figure in some way, but this story isn't even on the same level as that. This guy and the guys you mentioned in your comment sound like they need some very serious help if they actually want their partners to look like their mothers. Like I said, it's one thing to date someone that's somewhat similar to a parental figure, but it's another thing to change them so they are exactly like them.
Drop this little mamma's boy before his Oedipus Complex gets worse. He's a loser.
Montiphelia
16
you know who else had an Oedipus complex that bad?.........Hitler
Sounds like he's looking for someone else.
Yes. His mother.
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Ugh! What were his good qualities? Seriously, what attracted you to him? I'm glad you got out, he and his mom can have each other.
Kill his mother, wear her skin and truly become her. Bet he's gonna regret asking you to change.