Work: Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human....

By worker666 - 13/04/2014 14:51 - United States

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 906

You deserved it 4 250

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By bronieswillrule5eva - 11/06/2012 18:16 - Canada - Summerside

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 701

You deserved it 3 485

By Anonymous - 24/05/2016 14:05

Today, I tried to change my usually stoic behaviour and be friendly to a coworker. Now she is convinced that I finally went insane and intend to murder her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 792

You deserved it 1 103

By Anonymous - 21/01/2016 03:16 - United States - Houston

Today, at my retail job, I tried on one of our hats. My co-worker told me I shouldn't because I could get lice. I laughed it off and told her I didn't believe her. Man, do I believe her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 562

You deserved it 8 558

By Anonymous - 17/05/2014 16:02 - United States - Elko

Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 730

You deserved it 18 525

Sick day

By *cough* *cough* you're a dickface - 27/06/2015 05:48 - United States - Mckeesport

Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 496

You deserved it 1 970

By thecaptainmorgan - 12/10/2014 04:04 - United States - Tulsa

Today, my boss discovered that I'm prone to random fainting, due to hypoglycemia. He has now nicknamed me "Fainting Goat" and makes relentless bleating noises every time he sees me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 187

You deserved it 3 132

By Anonymous - 25/11/2015 13:37 - United States - Palmer

Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 724

You deserved it 2 652

You laugh, you lose

By YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK - 03/11/2012 00:23 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 496

You deserved it 4 153

By jalisc512 - 21/08/2014 20:16 - United States - Aurora

Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 445

You deserved it 5 524

By Umwhat - 19/06/2019 02:01

Today, my boss wanted to talk to me. Nervous, I went to her office. Turns out that my coworkers talk about me behind my back, and my boss is worried about me. Apparently, I lie about my bad knees, and me wearing black leggings is horrible. Most of them wear sweatpants on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 160

ShadowNinja445 12

Sunday 13 April 2014 18:19

Have some fun, OP. Play along too

Queen_bee1234 21

Sunday 13 April 2014 18:19

Time to call an exorcist.

Comments

realjojo 11

Monday 14 April 2014 3:34

Your boss is not playing alone, he just tried not to alarm you. It takes time to find exorcist or gather angry mob.

TheMystery13 13

Monday 14 April 2014 3:46

Geez, I would milk that for all it was worth! I'd make demonic noises, chant in Latin, draw pentagrams, and above all, stare menacingly at the culprit as often as possible, assuring them that I will have their soul.

liz622 3

Monday 14 April 2014 7:51

you should play along too!

ClassyCataclasis 4

Monday 14 April 2014 8:24

It's all fun and games until she tries to kill you.

sweetest_jenn 18

Monday 14 April 2014 9:05

Friends tease each other. Lighten up, OP :) I'd fire right back with a few better jokes if I were you.

novaturient 0

Monday 14 April 2014 9:16

Just play along ' you got me, I am in fact a demon, now do my work or prepare yourself for demonic torture'

RomeyRich 22

Monday 14 April 2014 12:40

haha just go with it maybe you'll get a raise

nitrog100 21

Monday 14 April 2014 19:44

Just play along and have some fun with it. Your boss is.

Sniper_Chick4110 20

Tuesday 15 April 2014 1:32

How are you with Summer OP? That's the clincher. Just run with it. Sounds like fun!

hazardmuffin 21

Tuesday 15 April 2014 2:46

Haha, FYL I guess, but if your boss is playing along, why not have some fun messing with your crazy coworker? Unless you actually ARE influenced by demons and the FML part of this is that she knows your secrets and your boss is only encouraging your exposure :)