Work: Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human....

By worker666 - 13/04/2014 14:51 - United States

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 905

You deserved it 4 250

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Same thing different taste

By bronieswillrule5eva - 11/06/2012 18:16 - Canada - Summerside

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 701

You deserved it 3 485

By Anonymous - 24/05/2016 14:05

Today, I tried to change my usually stoic behaviour and be friendly to a coworker. Now she is convinced that I finally went insane and intend to murder her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 792

You deserved it 1 103

By Anonymous - 21/01/2016 03:16 - United States - Houston

Today, at my retail job, I tried on one of our hats. My co-worker told me I shouldn't because I could get lice. I laughed it off and told her I didn't believe her. Man, do I believe her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 562

You deserved it 8 558

By Anonymous - 17/05/2014 16:02 - United States - Elko

Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 730

You deserved it 18 525

Sick day

By *cough* *cough* you're a dickface - 27/06/2015 05:48 - United States - Mckeesport

Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 496

You deserved it 1 970

By thecaptainmorgan - 12/10/2014 04:04 - United States - Tulsa

Today, my boss discovered that I'm prone to random fainting, due to hypoglycemia. He has now nicknamed me "Fainting Goat" and makes relentless bleating noises every time he sees me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 187

You deserved it 3 132

By Anonymous - 25/11/2015 13:37 - United States - Palmer

Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 724

You deserved it 2 652

You laugh, you lose

By YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK - 03/11/2012 00:23 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 496

You deserved it 4 153

By jalisc512 - 21/08/2014 20:16 - United States - Aurora

Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 444

You deserved it 5 524

By Umwhat - 19/06/2019 02:01

Today, my boss wanted to talk to me. Nervous, I went to her office. Turns out that my coworkers talk about me behind my back, and my boss is worried about me. Apparently, I lie about my bad knees, and me wearing black leggings is horrible. Most of them wear sweatpants on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 160

ShadowNinja445 12

Sunday 13 April 2014 18:19

Have some fun, OP. Play along too

Queen_bee1234 21

Sunday 13 April 2014 18:19

Time to call an exorcist.

Comments

Extremist 7

Sunday 13 April 2014 20:30

play with it. flip her crucifix when she's not looking

wolfstalker213 14

Sunday 13 April 2014 20:32

Am I the only one thinking about Supernatural?

DracoSpirita 21

Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:21

Someone call Crowley! He'll get the OP back in line. You're not supposed to let them know what you are, OP! One of the first rules of being a demon.

coppersmith 13

Sunday 13 April 2014 20:44

You need to start wearing jacket in winter. Anybody would be mistaken if you don't.

Curtis66 19

Sunday 13 April 2014 21:20

have a little fun MAKE them actually believe it.

rocker_chick23 27

Sunday 13 April 2014 21:25

My son gets nosebleeds in the winter due to the dry air. I never knew it meant demon possession. I also never knew I was possessed because I don't wear a coat in winter.

redwill85 10

Sunday 13 April 2014 21:38

Sounds like it's time to have fun playing a long running joke.

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 13 April 2014 21:55

Are you from the north and work in the south? I had the same thing...

mchmelev1993 10

Sunday 13 April 2014 22:23

Time to ask for a raise lol

guineagirl 18

Sunday 13 April 2014 22:47

Play along op maybe your boss will help and you can maybe scare the shit outta your coworker

Quiet_one 22

Sunday 13 April 2014 23:02

I've had random frequent nosebleeds my whole life. I guess no one ever told my mom she should have taken me to a priest when I was little, instead of all those doctors.