Work: Today, I tried to change my usually stoic behaviour and be friendly...

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By Anonymous - 24/05/2016 14:05

Today, I tried to change my usually stoic behaviour and be friendly to a coworker. Now she is convinced that I finally went insane and intend to murder her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 797

You deserved it 1 104

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Same thing different taste

Anger issues much?

By justhatelife - 09/12/2016 14:49 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 341

You deserved it 1 332

By Frustrated - 25/05/2015 17:42 - United States

Today, I tried to work on my attitude at work. People say I'm mean, so I tried to be nice all day. Apparently I'm now condescending. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 349

You deserved it 3 967

By Anonymous - 29/08/2014 16:17 - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 003

You deserved it 11 144

By morning_glory - 27/01/2015 21:17 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss expected me to corroborate her lie to a customer. She changed her story suddenly and I got caught up in the crosshairs. Then she got mad at me for not understanding what just happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 859

You deserved it 2 265

Stalker vibes

By Anonymous - 30/06/2020 14:01

Today, a woman who has a history of being horrible came into my work. I had to help her, so I was determined to be so nice that she couldn't possibly complain about me, as she has about several coworkers before. Apparently, I was too nice. Now she loves me and wants me to help her every time she comes in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 387

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 04:05 - United States

Today, I had a major falling out with my best friend. Angry, I sent a short text message to him explaining how I felt. I soon noticed I'd accidentally texted "I'm going to fucking kill you, asshole." to my boss instead. I'm still waiting on a reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 597

You deserved it 40 425

How've you been?

By Anonymous - 05/01/2025 03:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I mistook a random stranger in the grocery store for my friend and started complaining about how annoying my coworkers are at the moment. The stranger just nodded, concerned, and slowly backed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 544

Hey

By Anonymous - 27/05/2021 00:01 - Canada

Today, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and talk to my coworker because people have been saying I’m too shy. I say, "Hey" to a girl and she made fun of my voice. She’s the one who told me to talk more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 95

Brenda and me

By Not Brenda - 15/03/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was venting to a friend over Whatsapp about my annoying coworker when I realised I'd sent it to said coworker (always check which chat you are in while typing). I'd said, "I’m convinced Brenda is either possessed or just doesn't know how to be a normal human." I deleted it, but it was too late, as she replied with a smiley emoji and, “Can I help with anything, asshole?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 666

By Andrew - 30/10/2012 06:08 - United States - Monroe

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 933

You deserved it 46 541

mackdeezy 22

Wednesday 25 May 2016 9:04

Taking "kill them with kindness" too literal, I see.

UnicornWaffles 23

Wednesday 25 May 2016 9:00

Borrow some scissors and knife from her. Possibly a stapler and paper shredder.

Comments

UnicornWaffles 23

Wednesday 25 May 2016 9:00

Borrow some scissors and knife from her. Possibly a stapler and paper shredder.

Shade1982 20

Wednesday 25 May 2016 12:46

I see nothing wrong with this :P.

mackdeezy 22

Wednesday 25 May 2016 9:04

Taking "kill them with kindness" too literal, I see.

TigranPet 24

Wednesday 25 May 2016 9:22

I guess there is such thing as too much kindness.

SecundusSecunda 27

Wednesday 25 May 2016 9:33

Your cover is blown, OP She sees through your lies!

sunflower_seal 17

Wednesday 25 May 2016 9:44

Don't take it personally. If you're happy be you and if she can't handle that it's her problem.

PinkNikki 14

Wednesday 25 May 2016 10:51

Can we say "Taking it overboard??'

Moskaaa7 26

Wednesday 25 May 2016 11:29

Now, who's insane for assuming that?

ssnow_fml 20

Wednesday 25 May 2016 12:18

See, being nice gets you nowhere.

be82tw 17

Wednesday 25 May 2016 14:59

Sorry, OP, But OOC is serious business.

pandalover69 26

Wednesday 25 May 2016 22:49

What??

DrummerWS 23

Wednesday 25 May 2016 17:20

I know those feels ? Stick with the resting bitch face, it's easier!

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The Top

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy. We went back to his place, and after getting it on, he rolled onto his back and told me, "You can put that on your Bumble profile, you got a good dicking" then helicoptered his dick around, thinking it was sexy. I missed the last train, so I walked home after that. FML

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You deserved it 692

Today, I had to snatch my son's phone to hang up his “super important work phone call” and force him to pay attention to the nurse trying to hand him his newborn son, while his wife was passed out. He's so career obsessed, I don’t think he noticed his son being born at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 867

You deserved it 231

The Top

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, he got upset and accused me of making up words to make him feel stupid. All because I used the word "vapid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 544

You deserved it 7 574

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 987

You deserved it 6 418

Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 113

Today, my mom’s boyfriend insists that I can’t break anything by hooking up my new stove wrong, so I should just try until it works. Some trial and error and one electrician’s visit later, I now have a correctly hooked up stove which is now half broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 692

Today, I got married. After the ceremony, my sister asked to talk to me. I followed her and she told me that we are no longer related because we don't have the same last name anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 461

You deserved it 1 858

Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 684

You deserved it 4 319