Work: Today, I tried to change my usually stoic behaviour and be friendly...

By Anonymous - 24/05/2016 14:05

Today, I tried to change my usually stoic behaviour and be friendly to a coworker. Now she is convinced that I finally went insane and intend to murder her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 792

You deserved it 1 103

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Same thing different taste

Anger issues much?

By justhatelife - 09/12/2016 14:49 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 335

You deserved it 1 330

By Frustrated - 25/05/2015 17:42 - United States

Today, I tried to work on my attitude at work. People say I'm mean, so I tried to be nice all day. Apparently I'm now condescending. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 343

You deserved it 3 967

By Anonymous - 29/08/2014 16:17 - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 999

You deserved it 11 142

By morning_glory - 27/01/2015 21:17 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss expected me to corroborate her lie to a customer. She changed her story suddenly and I got caught up in the crosshairs. Then she got mad at me for not understanding what just happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 850

You deserved it 2 263

Stalker vibes

By Anonymous - 30/06/2020 14:01

Today, a woman who has a history of being horrible came into my work. I had to help her, so I was determined to be so nice that she couldn't possibly complain about me, as she has about several coworkers before. Apparently, I was too nice. Now she loves me and wants me to help her every time she comes in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 538

You deserved it 385

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 04:05 - United States

Today, I had a major falling out with my best friend. Angry, I sent a short text message to him explaining how I felt. I soon noticed I'd accidentally texted "I'm going to fucking kill you, asshole." to my boss instead. I'm still waiting on a reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 596

You deserved it 40 415

Hey

By Anonymous - 27/05/2021 00:01 - Canada

Today, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and talk to my coworker because people have been saying I’m too shy. I say, "Hey" to a girl and she made fun of my voice. She’s the one who told me to talk more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 93

By Andrew - 30/10/2012 06:08 - United States - Monroe

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 931

You deserved it 46 533

Kill me now

By bademployee - 12/08/2014 23:16 - United States - Portland

Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 884

You deserved it 21 672

Everything hurts

By waste - 23/08/2021 16:01

Today, I was accidentally rude to a customer and she told me to kill myself. My boss came over, told me that she agreed wholeheartedly with the customer, and then said, "I have no idea where you got this delusion that anyone would be sad if you died." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 116

mackdeezy 22

Wednesday 25 May 2016 9:04

Taking "kill them with kindness" too literal, I see.

UnicornWaffles 23

Wednesday 25 May 2016 9:00

Borrow some scissors and knife from her. Possibly a stapler and paper shredder.

Comments

UnicornWaffles 23

Wednesday 25 May 2016 9:00

Borrow some scissors and knife from her. Possibly a stapler and paper shredder.

Shade1982 20

Wednesday 25 May 2016 12:46

I see nothing wrong with this :P.

mackdeezy 22

Wednesday 25 May 2016 9:04

Taking "kill them with kindness" too literal, I see.

TigranPet 24

Wednesday 25 May 2016 9:22

I guess there is such thing as too much kindness.

SecundusSecunda 27

Wednesday 25 May 2016 9:33

Your cover is blown, OP She sees through your lies!

sunflower_seal 17

Wednesday 25 May 2016 9:44

Don't take it personally. If you're happy be you and if she can't handle that it's her problem.

PinkNikki 14

Wednesday 25 May 2016 10:51

Can we say "Taking it overboard??'

Moskaaa7 26

Wednesday 25 May 2016 11:29

Now, who's insane for assuming that?

ssnow_fml 20

Wednesday 25 May 2016 12:18

See, being nice gets you nowhere.

be82tw 17

Wednesday 25 May 2016 14:59

Sorry, OP, But OOC is serious business.

pandalover69 26

Wednesday 25 May 2016 22:49

What??

DrummerWS 23

Wednesday 25 May 2016 17:20

I know those feels ? Stick with the resting bitch face, it's easier!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 863

You deserved it 2 846

Today, I came across a street musician. He looked extremely well-fed already, but his music was pretty good, so I gave him some spare change. As soon as I turned away, he started screaming at me for being "cheap", and chased me half a block before running out of breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 738

You deserved it 4 239

The Top

Today, while I was at work as a receptionist in a hotel in Spain, an entitled woman was pissed because her reservation didn't have breakfast included. I'd offered her three times the option to add it. She declined because she had to pay for it. She was pissed that she had to pay to include the breakfast in her reservation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 97

Today, I found out my co-workers don't actually like me when they changed the hangout spot after accidentally inviting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 032

You deserved it 3 841

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 732

You deserved it 3 729

Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 067

You deserved it 6 724

Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 174

You deserved it 4 528

Today, having played golf for 15 years, I had my first hole in one. I was playing by myself. There were no witnesses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 925