Miscellaneous: Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking...

By gloomy - 15/08/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 807

You deserved it 828

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

All my fault

By streaker? - 27/11/2015 14:21 - Germany - Langenhagen

Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 266

You deserved it 2 039

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 966

You deserved it 7 438

By notapedobear - 13/01/2011 08:21

Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 259

You deserved it 3 287

No touching!

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:36 - United States

Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 011

You deserved it 23 341

By imnotastranger - 09/05/2014 03:01

Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 621

You deserved it 6 931

By Anonymous - 26/07/2014 15:50 - United States

Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 555

You deserved it 4 997

It is though

By Timv86 - 16/02/2010 08:18 - Australia

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 989

You deserved it 3 093

It's not what you think!

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 14:01

Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 198

By notacreep - 16/05/2009 08:39 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 208

You deserved it 4 074

Check this out!

By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 811

You deserved it 2 556

Glowworm56 26

Tuesday 15 August 2017 20:12

"Well, I wish I could tell your father the same thing about you, sir, but I'm afraid I'm far too late!"

hunterseal 18

Tuesday 15 August 2017 20:05

I'm assuming your daughter is a toddler, lol wtf is his problem? Obviously someone who isn't mentally all there. I've had children run and grab my ass and I won't be happy but I won't scream at them, the best thing you can do is just inform their parents

Comments

buckdharma 36

Wednesday 16 August 2017 15:04

I feel sorry for this person. How bad must their life be to become that offended by a child happily greeting them? Explain to your child that she did nothing wrong, and that she should always make you aware if someone makes her feel threatened in any way.

Agtthepw 21

Wednesday 16 August 2017 18:33

Sounds like the guy has some personal issues with fatherhood he needs to settle.

Liongoddess8 18

Wednesday 16 August 2017 19:37

For some reason, I was imagining your daughter as a teenager/young adult and I was hella confused!

1gullible_bugger 33

Thursday 17 August 2017 0:03

Two words : Meg Griffin

Ric Gray 10

Thursday 17 August 2017 4:31

so I guess the real question here is. Is your daughter a toddler, or pretween like everyone's assuming or is your daughter a tween or higher? because the difference is yls or ydi