Kids: Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania...

By Anonymous - 25/01/2013 18:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 579

You deserved it 2 586

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Same thing different taste

By blck - 01/01/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 680

You deserved it 3 929

By Anonymous - 01/08/2011 04:28 - United States

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 158

You deserved it 5 786

By oh dear - 25/10/2009 09:06 - France

Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 322

You deserved it 5 176

By failure as a parent - 11/05/2013 21:19 - United States - Bound Brook

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 425

You deserved it 6 289

By fire - 15/12/2009 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 536

You deserved it 6 608

By Anonymous - 28/03/2015 04:39 - United States - Madison

Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 740

You deserved it 2 432

By Anonymous - 02/03/2010 21:16 - United States

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 269

You deserved it 2 682

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 72 534

By SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 101

You deserved it 1 189

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 21:44 - United States

Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 004

You deserved it 4 197

Pleonasm 35

Friday 25 January 2013 23:21

Damn those virtual coals, ******* up carpets everywhere.

Rei_Ayanami 18

Friday 25 January 2013 23:21

I hope you have home insurance, and a lot of fire alarms. Add some extinguishers to be safe.

Comments

stardarkness 10

Friday 1 February 2013 23:31

What dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty?

SexyMexi21 23

Saturday 30 August 2014 4:05

Better instalaciones tile.. Some more fire extinguishers and some real good insurance

carhart101642 8

Friday 13 March 2015 16:13

What's pyromania?

JadeOmega 23

Wednesday 16 March 2016 2:26

I am a pyromaniac, definitely not severe though. I just always have the urge, whenever I'm in the presence of a box of matches/lighter to set things on fire. I can obviously control myself though. Most likely because I'm still traumatized from when i set my carpet on fire