Kids: Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another... - FML

By me - 13/01/2011 20:48 - United States

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 207

You deserved it 7 777

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Same thing different taste

Throwing shade

By deargodwhy - 04/09/2020 10:03

Today, my 12-year-old daughter was suspended from school for doing a book report on 50 Shades of Grey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 797

By Renzy - 12/12/2012 18:32

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 397

You deserved it 7 589

By Kulcha - 13/02/2009 11:07 - Australia

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 429

You deserved it 40 460

By Anonymous - 30/05/2012 18:47 - United Kingdom - Barry

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 930

You deserved it 3 029

By bully slayer - 12/12/2018 10:00 - Philippines - Pasay City

Today, in the absence of my god-daughter's parents, I went in their place to see her elementary school's principal. She apparently stood up to a known bully's violence and retaliated, sending said bully to the hospital. Not only she may be facing expulsion, I may get sued by the bully's parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 998

You deserved it 225

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 180

You deserved it 6 096

Rough school

By strayking - 24/05/2021 17:01

Today, my daughter admitted that she doesn’t have any friends at her elementary school. When I asked her why, she said it was because whenever she talks to any of the other kids, she gets punched in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 83

Student becomes the master

By Anonymous - 06/06/2021 09:58 - United States - Steele

Today, my son's "favorite" teacher went on a tirade criticizing my "awful" parenting. About two months ago, my son got her fired after he reported her to the principal for forcing him to miss out on lunch to finish a project. Apparently, that wasn't the first time she did something like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 116

Whack-a-Mole

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 02:01

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 293

Evil will always win

By emily ann - 21/05/2023 00:01

Today, I was suspended from school for “being involved in a fight.” The other girl beat me up while I didn't do anything to defend myself, for fear of getting in trouble. She got off scot free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 132

Next

Top comments

Domo_Arigato7 3

Thursday 13 January 2011 23:07

I love your kid, lol.

Sockmonkey_Ninja 0

Thursday 13 January 2011 23:02

haha gangster daughter. as long as she isn't mugging other kids of their milk cartons she'll prolly grow out of her violent stage.

Comments

Silly_Lilly6969 23

Monday 18 March 2013 13:17

Haha your kid is the shit. At least it was a book and not a Lego though...

happyapy 16

Saturday 14 September 2013 23:12

Please tell me it was the Sneetches book?

BeautyBaby099 18

Sunday 22 September 2013 2:42

Gotta love kids

Crystalkitty22 11

Friday 8 November 2013 8:16

At least it was for something somewhat funny :)

drayloon 50

Wednesday 19 February 2014 9:44

one bruise, two bruise black bruise, blue bruise

not_happening 11

Sunday 9 March 2014 1:50

One girl Two girl Black and blue girl

viva_la_blondes 15

Thursday 10 April 2014 0:27

Oh man. I like your daughter already!

Demon_of_Light 27

Saturday 19 July 2014 11:40

First she gave him Her best glare As she thought He wouldn't dare But once again, Her crayon he took And so she beat him With a book. She beat him in a chair She beat him on the floor Now she can't go back to elementary anymore

Masift 21

Wednesday 25 February 2015 17:22

THATS F*CKING HILARIOUS I LITERALLY LAUGHED OUT LOUD. in all seriousness though I hope you had a talk with her in the end about why it is not ok to beat other children with literarure

MyScurvy 22

Monday 13 April 2015 23:25

I'm not even mad, that's amazing

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 865

You deserved it 5 424

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 1 400

The Top

Today, I had pancakes for breakfast, and without realizing it, I got syrup in my hair. After breakfast, I went to straighten my hair, only to burn the syrup and have it get stuck in my hair. There was no time to shower and it smelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 059

You deserved it 23 828

Today, after telling a student that she had to take the online test on the date that I had assigned, she whined to the vice president of the college, who then told my dean that he needed to do something about it. She made me offer testing days on multiple dates. So much for integrity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 714

You deserved it 241

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a famous celebrity, but I accidentally hit the video record button and recorded myself walking away from them instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 767

Today, I decided to get a haircut to change up my look. I asked for a bob, but the hairstylist misunderstood and gave me some sort of bowl cut. I look like a '90s sitcom character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 186

Today, after I learned a long time ago that it's prudent to smell your shredded cheese as with milk to check its freshness, that lesson came into play when I doubted the quality of some cheese my roommate was going to use for nachos. I smelled it and got the dry heaves from the stink. He can't smell anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 96

Today, my college English teacher told me if I wanted an explanation for my grade I would have to schedule a conference to come to her office. It's an online class. I took an online class because I can't come in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 427

You deserved it 4 390