Kids: Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came...

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 562

You deserved it 3 442

By AdoKitty - 11/06/2015 03:04 - United States - Redlands

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 055

You deserved it 2 278

Well done sweetie

By Mommy - 29/09/2010 22:47 - United States

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 506

You deserved it 3 676

By seethroughpee - 06/05/2015 05:22 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 293

You deserved it 3 984

By justine - 11/08/2019 02:00

Today, I finally confronted my daughter about never using air freshener after she poops. She said, "But I thought flushing made the smell go away!" She's 15 and she actually believed this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 353

You deserved it 606

Charming...

By Anonymous - 01/06/2018 15:00

Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 371

You deserved it 406

Here, have a Turner Prize

By RunningMurphy - 15/05/2009 07:20 - United States

Today, at work, some little girl went in the bathroom for quite a while. Came out for two minutes and went back in. She then came out with her finger clutched in a paper towel. One of the other coworkers went in to check the bathroom. The little girl wrote "Hi!" with her own poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 614

You deserved it 2 758

By thisreallyhappened - 15/05/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 787

You deserved it 3 981

By Anonymous - 24/05/2015 14:14 - United States - Berwyn

Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 302

You deserved it 2 588

By applesmama - 17/09/2011 04:36 - United States

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 479

You deserved it 4 687

ImaginaryFoe 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 12:06

Did you teach her to wash her hands? If not, well, you know where I'm going with this.

LittleMonsterSam 5

Thursday 17 March 2011 12:06

well ain't that some shit

Comments

Iknoweverything 29

Thursday 17 March 2011 14:31

I'm guessing OP doesn't wash her hands regularly. Those of us who are germaphobes usually try to insist our kids be the same. Hope OP doesn't get cryptosporidiosis, because people who don't wash their hands are the biggest spreaders of it!

sweetiffany 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 14:36

Flushed, wiped, shut the light off... Think she missed one of the steps! Hope she does better next time!

portablecupid 3

Thursday 17 March 2011 15:13

....You didn't teach her how to wash her hands? YDI.

a7x_RoCk3r 12

Thursday 17 March 2011 16:50

I laughed so hard my lip that got stitches 2 days ago started bleeding. -____-

underpaid011 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 17:08

today, I used a condom. MLIA

yaya0330 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 17:51

lol

heatlove5stars 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 18:11

dang girl that is some mother f*ckin shit teach her to wash her hands

amh721 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 18:34

Kids are effing disgusting, that's why I don't let them near me. Just teach the kid that it's rude to invade someone's personal space by putting their hands in your face. And tell her she smells like shit.

Aoifexzx 3

Thursday 17 March 2011 19:01

you taught her it's more important to turn the light off than wash? I'm all for being Eco friendly but that's just nasty..

Rainbow35 6

Thursday 17 March 2011 19:38

Maybe OP did tell the kid before that she was supposed to wash her hands too, but the kid, being like 3 or 4 I guess, forgot? Maybe 4 things is a lot for the kid to remember? I dunno.