Kids: Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able...

By makeitstop - 04/08/2011 13:41 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 600

You deserved it 63 605

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Same thing different taste

By notawizard - 16/07/2009 10:16 - Spain

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 348

You deserved it 95 132

By Anonymous - 18/10/2014 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 335

You deserved it 14 531

By Anonymous - 27/10/2012 00:33 - United Kingdom - Knowle

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 434

You deserved it 6 761

By Anonymous - 11/02/2014 16:09 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 913

You deserved it 8 797

By brichard22 - 12/07/2015 14:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 836

You deserved it 5 818

By obnum - 24/05/2013 12:26 - United States - New York

Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 226

You deserved it 45 851

Misunderstanding

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:49 - United States - Rice Lake

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 512

You deserved it 6 567

By Jill - 15/06/2013 04:19 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 356

You deserved it 22 756

By AnonymousCow - 20/09/2016 13:04 - Australia - Perth

Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 816

You deserved it 1 900

By Anya - 17/12/2016 16:09 - Japan - Fukuoka

Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 688

You deserved it 1 828

ilovehamburgers 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 18:54

Yes you are.

emmiep1011 7

Thursday 4 August 2011 18:57

I hope you resorted to butter beer.

Comments

ukrage 1

Friday 5 August 2011 6:08

**** you pottermore is the shit

kaseylynn123 5

Friday 5 August 2011 6:09

wow harsh... You couldn't have worded that any meaner. Maybe that's just something your daughter is in to and if you want to be a good parent and respect the things she is interested in you could start by trying to help her with her problem and stop complaining about her "cake hole". Maybe her "cake hole" would be shut if her mother would try and resolve her problem like she is suppose to do.

hopelessxdesign 5

Sunday 7 August 2011 5:50

call me crazy, but I don't think her mom is going to be able to get her into pottermore.

helen29 4

Friday 5 August 2011 6:17

ur daughter is a loseeeeer drink away!!

technicolourain1 0

Friday 5 August 2011 6:19

What the hell man? I feel bad for her, because you suck.

nowthenagain10 8

Friday 5 August 2011 6:25

did anyone else

agasshi_fml 0

Friday 5 August 2011 6:35

if she wants to register early, make sure she matches time with england, or else the register will close. I had to wake up and wait to register! POTTERMORE FTW

nikkon416 13

Friday 5 August 2011 6:54

Children need some boundaries. Kids in today's society are spoiled. And there's nothing a parent can do.

AriadneBelle 3

Friday 5 August 2011 7:37

Wait, just so I'm clear, there's nothing a parent can do about their children being spoiled? Call me crazy, but I'm not quite sure you know what a parent's job is supposed to be.

YummiGummi 0

Friday 5 August 2011 6:55

WHAT NEW HARRY POTTER WEBSITE???

dawg92746 3

Friday 5 August 2011 7:10

I agree op. Tell that kid he/she needs to stop living in this NONEXISTENT and MADE UP fantasy world of Harry potter. I've always liked hp, but the damn people who are OBSESSED with this shit piss me off. It's like Harry Potter and Doctor Who run their lives, and forget what reality is.