Animals: Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I...

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By nattnatt73 - 10/09/2016 07:07 - United States - Marion

Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 859

You deserved it 1 893

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Same thing different taste

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 07/04/2020 17:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were throwing a toy for his dog. He threw it, and I turned my head in that direction, looking for almost a minute before realizing he didn't actually throw it. He's still amused because, "even the dog was smart enough not to fall for that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 828

Argument ender

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 421

Good boy

By Anonymous - 05/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Myrtle Beach

Today, I bought a fancy automatic ball launcher for my dog. When I demonstrated it, my dog watched the ball fly through the air, then charged at the launcher instead, thinking it was the toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 121

Go get it

By Anonymous - 22/01/2025 03:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I was excited to teach my new puppy how to fetch. I threw the stick, and he just stared at it, then stared back at me with his tongue lolling out, as if to say, "You threw it. You go get it." I’ve now spent the past 30 minutes fetching my own stick, hoping he'd join in. Nope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 326

Alas, poor Doggo

By suchatwat - 09/10/2020 05:02

Today, I accidentally hit my dad in the eye with our dead dog's squeaky toy. He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 265

Dogs for Christmas

By Dog dad - 26/12/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I bought my dog an expensive plushie toy because I thought it would last longer than the cheap ones. He ignored it completely and spent two hours playing with the cardboard box it came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 203

Thow it!

By Ethan - 09/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was having a conversation with a friend at the park when my dog ran up to me with something in his mouth. I thought it was a stick. I bent down to take it, only to realize it was a dead squirrel. My dog just stared at me, tongue lolling, like, “It’s a stick, throw it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 83

Uh oh

By uh-oh - 25/03/2012 05:49 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 622

You deserved it 3 737

By wellokaythen - 14/05/2013 19:52 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 938

You deserved it 5 123

Stop trying to make fetch happen

By Frankie - 24/02/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I thought it would be cute to teach my dog a new trick in which I throw and then he brings me back a rolled up newspaper. He disappeared after it, then successfully returned with what turned out to be my neighbor's dirty boxer shorts. Apparently, my dog has a different definition of "fetch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 150

mareike 16

Monday 12 September 2016 0:22

Come on, that is a bit funny :)

DeliMeat08 14

Monday 12 September 2016 0:25

I don't think dogs can feel disappointment. They are empathetic, so maybe it just sensed you felt disappointed in yourself, and because it's a bundle of love and compassion, didn't wanna bother you anymore.

Comments

Catdragon 40

Monday 12 September 2016 1:10

"Really? You've been playing with his balls for years and yet you can't even throw mine?"

RichardPencil 30

Monday 12 September 2016 1:54

"Look, if you don't want to play, don't play. But if you're gonna, do it right!" Good things dogs can't talk.

jimeple 12

Monday 12 September 2016 2:26

Omg that's so funny. You must've threw it like a girl. Know I know. Chauvinistic comment but who cares. It's funny.

BLDYRBBT 16

Monday 12 September 2016 6:55

Apparently feminazis care

Lalala579121 27

Monday 12 September 2016 11:41

It really wasn't. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

RinoaHeartilly 36

Monday 12 September 2016 3:05

How is this an FML? This is pretty common and not something to be upset about.

OhPuhleeze 23

Monday 12 September 2016 4:33

I literally laughed for a minute after reading this. Couldn't help but imagine the thing like I was standing there and the dog looking at you. Cheer up. I dont think the dog was judging you.

tjpr314 8

Monday 12 September 2016 5:26

Lol that's funny. Just picturing and playing that scenario in my mind is hilarious . Lol

tjpr314 8

Monday 12 September 2016 5:30

The look on your dogs face must have been priceless and the thoughts that was going on in his mind lol. Good thing he can't talk but his actions said it all. Lol Don't feel bad though it was just one of those things that just happened. He'll give you another chance.

lambda_fml 40

Monday 12 September 2016 5:54

Dogs are smart.

LyricaSilvan 29

Monday 12 September 2016 6:53

It's okay, OP. My dog is the same way. She'll have me throw a ball or frisbee for her, but I kinda suck at throwing. So she'll go get it, then take it to one of my family members instead. She always ends up giving me more chances to throw it for her, eventually.