Animals: Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

By Crystal_Nicole - 14/12/2013 05:05 - United States - Wichita

Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 515

You deserved it 7 068

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/10/2012 05:59 - United States

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 459

You deserved it 6 072

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Kelsiiii - 11/03/2020 03:00

Today, I pretended to be dead in front of my dog to see what he would do. He started to hump me, and when I tried to get up, he growled at me until I got back down on the ground to wait until he was finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 2 111

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 780

You deserved it 11 015

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 05:40 - Egypt

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 680

You deserved it 4 334

By jessica071509 - 24/04/2012 05:42 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 345

You deserved it 3 699

By jrad - 08/09/2010 19:23 - United States

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 836

You deserved it 3 553

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 16:51 - United States

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 155

You deserved it 2 391

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 21:19 - United States

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 666

You deserved it 96 612

He prefers the dog

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 999

You deserved it 370

What a treat

By Anonymous - 17/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Sainte Genevieve

Today, I asked if my friend wanted to come meet my dog and give him a treat. We were walking to my back yard, her holding 3 hot dogs, when she said, "I think your dog is dead!" I said, "No, he's just old and sleeps all the time and won't wake up until you pet him because he's deaf." He was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 663

You deserved it 662

cjack188 13

Saturday 14 December 2013 12:06

It's the exact opposite with my dog and his damn ball! I'm the one playing dead so he'll leave me alone!

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 14 December 2013 12:14

Don't terrier self up about it, it's pawsible that your dog was just having a ruff day.

Comments

Bandwhore11 8

Sunday 5 January 2014 19:32

Dog these days.

foxyhasmybooty 16

Tuesday 2 December 2014 4:05

Wouldn't you still bother him to see if he's actually dead? If not you heartless son if a gun

icecreamisrad 13

Monday 10 June 2019 16:33

Mine does this allll the time hahaha don’t take it personal

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Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 979

USA, USA, USA, and more precisely Philadelphia. That's where we're landing today. When I first discovered Justin, on 9gag or an awesome website like that, I knew exactly this little guy was perfect to fit in the FML illustrated section. His crazy, c...

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Today, my husband's rich aunt and uncle came in town and handed us an envelope and said we hope this helps out with the student loans. Inside the envelope was just an article on new student loan procedures and how to get lower payments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 247

You deserved it 9 202

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 124

You deserved it 13 042

Today, I went on a date where the guy got drunk off 11 White Claws, I got 18 ant bites (yes, I counted), stung by a yellow jacket, and lost both pairs of our shoes. He told me he was going to a strip club after, messed up my name 3 times and didn’t pay for anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 313

Today, during my lunch break, I sat on the manager's chair. As I sat down, I heard a snapping sound and I ended up on the floor. Everyone now calls me "the lumpy girl" who broke the manager's chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 446

Today, my coworker told me when we got to work that she purposely left her phone at home. I then had to suffer 8 hours of listening to her constantly whine like a toddler about how much she missed her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 088

You deserved it 1 196

Today, the maid left a bottle of Febreze in my hotel room. Think she is trying to tell me something? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 300

You deserved it 804

Same thing different taste

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

He prefers the dog

What a treat

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