Kids: Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's...

By OakStake - 08/12/2013 22:07 - United States - New York

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 318

You deserved it 3 424

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/06/2016 02:45 - United States - Chillicothe

Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 817

You deserved it 1 270

By Anonymous - 14/07/2013 04:13 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 086

You deserved it 4 449

By JubileeBee - 28/09/2011 10:46 - United States

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 366

You deserved it 2 418

By secretsmakefriends - 15/10/2013 21:43 - United States - Vashon

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 846

You deserved it 5 185

By walker - 06/07/2013 04:17 - United States

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 694

You deserved it 4 910

Kids, eh?

By Anonymous - 23/10/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my four year-old daughter when we met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman I know. My daughter looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 179

By orcatheseapanda - 09/01/2016 05:14 - Thailand

Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 189

You deserved it 1 422

By WanstinChurchHill - 08/09/2009 07:11 - United States

Today, I met a nice girl and decided to ask her out. Later on she showed me a picture of her with her family, she was wearing red and everyone else black. I said jokingly "you look like the adopted child" only to find out that her had parents died and she was indeed adopted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 369

You deserved it 41 266

By Anonymous - 07/04/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, I was working at a portrait studio and was taking pictures of a little girl, I kept telling the girl to stop making silly faces when she smiles because her eyes go cross-eyed. After the third time I said it her mom grabbed the little girl and left. Turns out, she was naturally cross-eyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 538

You deserved it 58 246

By BlackRavenWings - 21/11/2010 22:36 - United States

Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patients room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 914

You deserved it 35 721

chottu 16

Monday 9 December 2013 6:08

Some people are just crazy, don't mind them. I'm sure your daughter is beautiful.

VengeanceChicken 12

Monday 9 December 2013 6:09

Just slowly close the door and whisper "Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnneeeeee...."

Comments

satanismyruler 7

Sunday 13 July 2014 9:01

say it, out loud. ..say it.

Castiels_sister 7

Tuesday 21 October 2014 4:55

Poor thing.If she is albino,that's amazing!ignore the negative,focus on the positive.

Starham1 14

Friday 23 January 2015 3:52

I understand people being slightly freaked out, but a PRIEST?

fantasyworld 37

Monday 11 May 2015 21:41

People are scared of what they don't understand.

upgradestorm1 20

Saturday 6 June 2015 4:49

Yo, red eyes? Thats sick!

DEATHLORD_fml 16

Saturday 11 July 2015 20:25

Red irises?BOSS.

chaylea 19

Thursday 12 November 2015 23:03

this is so bad

rinzlerkitty94 31

Tuesday 15 December 2015 2:03

Good luck to you.

californiaboi 5

Thursday 17 December 2015 7:12

Kill them, kill them all

19jburner 15

Wednesday 2 March 2016 0:36

red irises? that must be really cool to have. well, at least she doesn't need colored contacts to nail the demon costume for halloween!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 433

You deserved it 21 177

Here's the latest video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com, enjoy! Kay Akana, co-founder of 10secondtraumas.com, is also a stand-up comedian in LA. Do go and check out her performances, she did manage to make us lot laugh! ...

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

The Top

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 590

You deserved it 10 483

Today, my mom won’t let me go to my boyfriend’s apartment. She says it’s because “I know what you guys are gonna do there I’m not stupid.” She threatened to kick me out of the house if I go. I’m 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 337

Today, after many years of denial and avoidance, I've come to accept the fact that I'm one of those people who are turned on by furry adult art. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 996

Today, as I enjoyed my peaceful evening, I realized that my redneck neighbors had gone into the hills to shoot machine guns. How the almighty f**k did they get MACHINE GUNS? FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 197

Today, as I stepped into the shower, I slipped and fell over the edge of the tub, pulling the shower curtain down with me. I called my roommate to help me up as I put on a towel over me. But before she could help me up, she grabbed her phone to take a picture. The picture became a mass text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 778

You deserved it 3 739

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 238

Same thing different taste

Kids, eh?

Top comments

Comments