Intimacy: Today, my ex texted me after more than a year of no communication....

By Anonymous - 12/12/2015 02:38

Today, my ex texted me after more than a year of no communication. He wanted to know if I was interested in having a threesome with him and his current fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 285

You deserved it 2 685

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Same thing different taste

Spare wheel

By Anonymous - 19/05/2020 14:00

Today, an ex of mine told me she wanted a threesome. This was great until I realised I wasn't included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 453

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend, who I have been trying to get back together with, texted me. He asked me how life was going, he then asked me if I had the naked picture of him saved on my phone. I asked him why. He replied that he wanted to send it to his crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 171

You deserved it 4 680

By emi - 03/04/2016 17:18 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, the guy I've been seeing asked me to have a threesome. With his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 337

You deserved it 2 756

Mind games

By Anonymous - 05/08/2024 10:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my ex texted me being all flirty and sexual and yet was never like that when we were together. Not long later, his new girlfriend messaged me saying, "Stop messaging my man, he doesn't want you back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 83

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 17:15 - Nepal

Today, I texted my ex boyfriend that I still loved him. He texted back asking if this was some sort of booty call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 589

You deserved it 33 773

The old dog has learned new tricks

By Anonymous - 08/09/2022 10:00

Today, I had a threesome with my ex and his female friend. He went down on her almost immediately, which he never did in the 14 months that we dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 1 224

By Laloose - 26/12/2008 07:53 - France

Today, I send a text message to my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me four months ago, telling him to come back. His answer: "feeling-wise I won't come back to you, but sexually, why not". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 020

You deserved it 28 307

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 00:01

Today, my ex messaged me on Facebook, wanting to be friends with benefits. I’m married now, and he just found out his wife is expecting. She discovered the messages, and I’m now the “home wrecker.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 105

Passing

By butchapparently - 10/08/2015 15:35

Today, I got a text from the guy I've been in love with for 3 years, saying, "So um, I've been wondering. Did you used to be a man?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 739

You deserved it 2 230

Second chancer

By donotbelieveinsecondchances - 02/03/2015 14:04 - Netherlands - Capelle Aan Den Ijssel

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 060

You deserved it 4 462

klol101 11

Saturday 12 December 2015 20:22

Take a screenshot of that, spread it around and show the world what a douchebag he is....

Steve95401 49

Saturday 12 December 2015 20:04

What a douchebag!

Comments

deejflat 17

Tuesday 15 December 2015 19:28

Sounds like a keeper

wassup388 25

Friday 18 December 2015 23:22

Plot twist: the author said yes

Steve7910 6

Monday 4 January 2016 4:59

So...did you?

HKKillFeeDz 11

Tuesday 19 January 2016 20:48

Hell yeah!

PandaSage 10

Thursday 28 July 2016 9:12

So... What position were you in?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 698

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 077

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 926

You deserved it 9 739

Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 593

You deserved it 5 667

What happens next to the poor fisherman dude? Check out the video find out.

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 170

Today, my mom walked in on me slow dancing to "Bella's Lullaby" with an anime boy cutout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 1 055

Today, I found myself cussing out the next dipshit fucked in the head enough to open its bitch mouth and mumble to itself about how I was the newest main stressor of it’s bitch-fit of a day. Taking into account the pathetic aspect of “rubbing it in” I then proceeded to cuss out the next person who got in my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 1 669

Today, after my first day at work at a local daycare, I found out that I'm not entitled to breaks because I'm the only worker there who doesn't smoke. My boss asked me, ''What do you need a break for?'' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 976

You deserved it 2 982