By JasonThorn - 17/12/2016 13:21

Today, my father gave me and my sister $50 each because he got a bonus and wanted to spread it around. Then he asked for our report cards. My sister did well, but I didn't, barely scraping by on C's. After seeing my report card, he told me to give the $50 back. So, love is conditional, Dad? FML
I agree, your life sucks 5 353
You deserved it 9 752

JasonThorn tells us more.

JasonThorn 20

OP here. I am glad that a lot of people understood that it had been meant as a gift with no strings attached, only to have then attached later as a reward for performance. My dad never specified, "This is what you get for doing well." It was, "I had a great day and I want to share it with everyone." The truth is, if he had said he was disappointed in me but felt I should keep the $50 and hoped I would do all I can to improve, I would have respected him and listened to him. It's not about the money. It could have been $5 and I would have reacted the same way. I now understand that gifts are conditional and I have to continually earn every favorable reaction from him, on the off chance he intends to give one.

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Top comments

Oh_No_Not_Him 25

Love is not necessarily demonstrated by giving you money. Motivating you to do your best, even when you don't appreciate it, can be more loving than you might imagine.

7 0
GigaPudding_fml 24

I think I would have felt more sorry for you if it wasn't for the "So, love is conditional?". Money and love are two separate things

3 0

Comments

kristinjeaneen 21

You sound like a spoiled brat. No, you don't deserve $50 if you can't get decent grades in school. I'd take my money back too.

0 2
joem1022 4

You are the exact stereotype bringing this generation down.

0 3
acmariner99 25

It might have been more tactful if he checked the report card first ... or given the money based on performance, but rewards are conditional. A bonus is just that, a bonus. You don't win in life just for showing up.

0 1
cacheson 41

A. Some people do win at life just for showing up. B. The money was presented as an unconditional gift. Not as a reward. C. If the money was meant as a reward, it should have been presented that way in the first place and withheld from the beginning until conditions were met

1 1
RedWolfy 7

Oh look what your father did, it's called parenting. Plain & simple, he still loves you regardless. If you cannot see past that, then you have alot to learn.

0 2
cacheson 41

It's poor parenting if he is being inconsistent about the terms of the so-called reward, which, may I remind everyone, was initially presented as a gift when he said he wanted to "spread around" his bonus. It is much clearer and beneficial to a child when a reward is given conditionally, instead of given without conditions and then taken away.

1 1
Talis99 26

YDI, OP. Sound like a spoiled brat.

0 2
sparkledoge 29

I don't get why everyone is against OP here. Rewards are conditional, yes, but what his father first say wasn't about a reward. You can't just give money or anything else to someone and then take it back with the excuse that it suddenly became a reward for something you checked at the last minute.

0 0
DoomedGemini 37

Mostly because op is trying the "dad doesn't love me unconditionally". If they didn't try to spin it that way I think more people would be sympathetic.

0 0
sparkledoge 29

Yeah i get that, it's true that the whole money=love part threw me off a bit but not to the point of voting ydi though.

0 0
Lisa_Kdubz 20

This just cracks me up. You're surprised OP? Upset? My family had a grade reward system in place because the majority of my siblings and I had ADHD, dyslexia, etc and it helped to motivate us. $100 for straight As (only happened a handful of times ever), $20 for each A, nothing for each B, pay $20 for each C, $50 for each D, and $100 for an F. I always felt privileged and lucky as hell that I would get paid for my As. Never once would it have occurred to me that I would see a penny if I got a couples of Cs. Frankly, I'm all for him giving the other $50 to your sister.

0 0
cacheson 41

The thing is though, your family had a system already in place. Were you and your siblings never given any gifts at all unless your grades were checked? Did the conditions of your gifts or rewards change suddenly without warning? OP's father didn't set any rules in place about the money he gave as a gift. He just gave it, and then took it away. Everyone's family has a different system, and clearly yours and OP's do not match, and cannot be compared in the way you are doing.

1 1